Buying a Fishing Rod for My Grandfather by Gao Xingjian Read Free Book Online

the central section of Desheng Avenue in front of the radio repair shop.

BUYING A FISHING ROD FOR MY GRANDFATHER
    I walk past a new shop that sells fishing equipment. The different fishing rods on display make me think of my grandfather, and I want to buy him one. There’s a ten-piece fiberglass rod labeled “imported,” though it’s not clear if it’s the whole rod that’s imported or just the fiberglass, nor is it clear how being imported makes any of it better. All ten pieces overlap and probably retract into the last black tube, at the end of which is a handle like a pistol’s and a reel. It looks like an elongated revolver, like one of those Mausers that used to be in fashion. My grandfather certainly never saw a Mauser, and he never saw a fishing rod like this even in his dreams. His rods were bamboo, and he definitely wouldn’t have bought one. He’d find a length of bamboo and straighten it over a fire, cooking the sweat on his hands as he turned the bamboo brown with the smoke. It ended up looking like an old rod that had caught fish over many generations.
    My grandfather also made nets. A small net had about ten thousand knots, and day and night he would tie them nonstop. He’d move his lips while he knotted, as if counting or praying. This was hard, much harder work for him than the knitting my mother did. I don’t recall his everhaving caught a decent-sized fish in a net; at most, they were an inch long and only worth feeding to the cat.
    I remember being a child, things that happened when I was a child. I remember that if my grandfather heard someone was going to the provincial capital, he would be sure to ask the person to bring back fishing hooks for him, as if fish could only be caught with hooks bought in the big city. I also remember his mumbling that the rods sold in the city had reels. After casting the line, you could relax and have a smoke as you waited for the bell on the rod to tinkle. He wanted one of those so he’d have his hands free to roll his cigarettes. My grandfather didn’t smoke ready-rolled cigarettes. He ridiculed them as paper smokes and said they were more grass than tobacco, that they hardly tasted of tobacco. I would watch his gnarled fingers rub a dried tobacco leaf into shreds. Then all he had to do was tear off a piece of newspaper, roll the tobacco in it, and give it a lick. He called it rolling a cannon. That tobacco was really powerful, so powerful it made my grandfather cough, but that didn’t keep him from rolling it. The cigarettes people gave him as presents he would give to my grandmother.
    I remember that I broke my grandfather’s favorite fishing rod when I fell. He was going fishing, and I had volunteered to carry the rod. I had it on my shoulder as I ran on ahead. I wasn’t careful, and when I fell, the rod caught in the window of a house. My grandfather almost wept ashe stroked the broken fishing rod. It was just like when my grandmother stroked her cracked bamboo mat. That mat of finely woven bamboo had been slept on for many years in our home and was a dark red color, like the fishing rod. Although she slept on it, she wouldn’t let me sleep on it, and said if I did, I’d get diarrhea. She said the mat could be folded, so in secret I folded it, but as soon as I did, it cracked. I didn’t dare tell her, of course, I only said I didn’t believe it could be folded. But she insisted that it was made of black bamboo and that black bamboo mats could be folded. I didn’t want to argue because she was getting old and I felt sorry for her. If she said it could be folded, then it could, but where I folded it, it cracked. Every summer the crack grew longer, and she kept waiting for a mat mender to come; she waited many years, but no mender came. I told her people didn’t do this sort of work anymore and that she’d had the mat so long, she might as well buy a new one, but my grandmother didn’t see it that way and always said the older, the better. It was