Callahan's Secret by Spider Robinson Read Free Book Online Page A

possible solutions. One involved their complete annihilation, root, stock, and branch; the other was more risky. We loved Life, and especially Sentience, and they were sentient. We took the risk and were destroyed. Perhaps it was the wrong choice.
    “In any case, I am nearly all that remains of my race, and so I am disinclined to die. I can neither love nor hate my Masters, but I can fear them and do.”
    “It must have been hard for you to quit them,” Mary said.
    “Yes, but not because of the fear. That came later. It was hard because I am only partly organic. I contain installations, which were programmed by the Masters. Betrayal was almost a physical impossibility for me: I was counterprogrammed. With an effort that burned out smaH components and may have taken a century off my lifespan, I was barely able to hint at how my programming might be circumvented-and these my Mends were able to interpret my hints and act on them.”
    “Aren’t your… Mick, I’m sorry, I just can’t use that word~, Aren’t the Cockroaches likely to notice you’re gone and come looking for you?”
    “No, Mary. The Galaxy is a big dark place, and the… Cockroaches, being rational, are cautious. if a scout fails to report in, the area he was exploring is left alone. My defensive systems are mighty; it would take a pow&ful enemy to destroy me without my consent.”
    Callahan set up ,another five shots. “Finn,” he asked, “tell me if it’s none o’ my business, but is it possible for you to suicide?”
    “No, Michael. Or I would have done so, before I ever caine to your tavern that first night.” He downed two of the shots. “But, as with my loyalty to the Cockroaches… thank you for that name, Mary…~ my will to live can be tampered with slightly. I could not suicide-but given the right conditions and a strong enough motivation, I could cooperate in my assassination.” He finished the remaining shots. “You will recall that on that first night here, I begged you all to kill me.”
    “No, Mickey,” Callahan said softly. “I don’t recall that.” He trod his cigar underfoot and lit a new one. “I don’t ever plan to, either. One more personal question?”
    “Of course, Michael.”
    It was a tencent cigar or worse, but Mike took his time getting it lit. properly. “You said, ‘strong enough motivation.” Puff. “Tell me, buddy…” Puff. “… is loneliness a strong enough motivation?”
    Not a chair creaked; not a sleeve rustled; not a glass clinked. The fire seemed to quiet in the hearth; the rain seemed to have stopped. Somewhere in there Mary and I had lost our grip on each other’s arm; I wanted to get mine
    back, but something told me to stay still.
    Finn sighed finally, and put ten more singles on the bartop. Callahan handed him a fresh fifth, and while he was drinking off the top quarter of it, Callahan said quickly and quietly, “Mickey, once upon a time you had a problem you couldn’t solve, and dying looked like the only way out. But you kept on looking for another way out, and in the proverbial nick of time you found one.”
    Finn wiped his mouth with his long forearm. “Michael, I have been looking for a solution to this problem for a long time. All the time I have been on Earth. I think very quickly. In the same amount of time I could have deduced this solar system from one of your cigar stubs.”
    “Mickey,” Mary began, and then caught herself ..“Mickey Finn isn’t your real name, is it?”
    “Yes, it is, but in the sense you mean you are correct: it is not the birthname my father gave me.”
    ‘What is your birthname7’
    Finn smiled sadly. “You couldn’t pronounce it.”
    “Try me.”
    He started to argue but gave in and spoke his name. When I’d heard it I agreed with him. The closest I can render it is “Txffu Mpwfs.” Whatever Finn’s people had been like, I was sure their mouths were constructed differently than ours.
    Mary got it dead-bang perfect the first time.