Castles Made of Sand by Gwyneth Jones Read Free Book Online Page A

her, a wall at her back, hugging her close.
    Sage took her hands. ‘Don’t worry about it. Anything you do is right.’
    ‘If anything feels wrong,’ said Ax, kissing her hair, ‘at any point , you say the word, and you and me go back upstairs.’
    ‘Everything will be like before,’ said Sage. ‘No damage. We promise.’
    ‘And don’t , fuck’s sake, worry about the secret affair. It won’t happen, ever. Will it, Sage?’
    ‘Of course not.’
    Fiorinda shrugged. ‘Fine. W-why all the fuss, anyway? It’s just sex. It’s not a big deal.’
    ‘Yes it is,’ said Sage.
    ‘Yes it is,’ said Ax.
    She sat for a moment, her heart beating hard against Ax’s arm. Then she freed herself, picked up the skirts of the satin slip, tugged it over her head and tossed it. Instantly Sage pushed back the quilt, so they were naked together. All three of them sighed then, involuntarily: a sigh of profound relief, we’re over the edge, we’ve done it. Fiorinda leaned back against Ax, how warm he feels, and held Sage’s maimed hand to her breast, ah, what a rush. ‘This’ll never work,’ she said, her whole body sweetly burning. ‘We’ll fall out, and it will be awful.’
    ‘It’s worth a try,’ said Sage, trying to sound level-headed.
    ‘It’ll work,’ said Ax. ‘As long as we’re careful, at the start, and make an effort.’
    She moved her head gently from side to side, so her hair caressed Ax’s throat, the way he loved. ‘Uh-uh. Nothing’s supposed to be an effort in the Good State. Or it won’t last.’
    ‘But we’re allowed to concentrate on one another,’ said Sage. ‘I remember that.’
    They were quoting from Ax’s manifesto, the one he’d pitched at his friends three years ago: a plan worth living for, on the other side of the end of the world. In the Good State we will only take time off from having fun, from making art, from being ourselves , to concentrate on each other, like the social animals—
    She’s flying, into Sage’s arms, Ax falling after her—
    Well.
    That was very good. What a rush, how overwhelming, how frightening, tell the truth, to lie naked between them, these two big fierce male animals. But from the moment they both had their arms around her, kissing her, nuzzling, whispering, sweetheart, is this really okay? Are you okay Fee? it had been nothing but good and wonderful. Oh, there are problems, I know there are problems. But we truly love each other, and the sex is brilliant. Surely we can sort out the rest. Someone was walking around: Sage. She opened her eyes to the icy grey morning and saw him dressed in biker leathers, sitting down to pull on his boots. There wasn’t anyone in the bed with her.
    ‘Where’s Ax?’
    ‘Gone for a walk. He’ll be back soon.’ Second boot on. Snap the closures.
    ‘Where are you going?’
    He came and sat on the bed. ‘Back to Reading.’
    ‘Why? What’s wrong?’
    ‘Because I can’t do this threesome thing. I’m sorry, baby. I can’t.’
    She sat up, pulling the covers around her, suddenly very young, suddenly a shamed and frightened child. ‘W-was I no good?’
    ‘Oh God. Fee, it will be all right. I’m still your Sage. I love you. I will be your best friend, forever and ever. But I can’t do this.’ He didn’t touch her. She didn’t dare reach out to him. ‘So I’m going. The keys are on the kitchen table. Leave them at Ruthie Maynor’s. You can push them through the letterbox.’
    Ax had walked towards the sea, on the unfenced track that crossed the clifftop grassland above Sage’s house, and then taken a turn along a field line, beside a hedge. Before the Crash he’d had a data chip implanted in his brain, holding a huge stack of information about this country: he’d thought it would come in useful. He could review Sage’s estate in several scales of detail, twelve acres of dry granite pasture, a portion of the Chy. Not much cover except for the gorge, which would be a trap… A standing stone. A patch of