Catch My Fall by Ella Fox Read Free Book Online Page A

told me that after all of the sessions she had been in with my mother and myself over the course of the past few months she was positive that my mother only ever saw me as a blessing. I love my mother and my mother loves me, but I would be blind not to see how much easier her life would have been if she’d never had to deal with John Reeves.
    Watching my father leave that day was awful and it sickens me that he believes he handled things in an up-front and very fair way.  When the movers came, they emptied out his office, his closet, his den, and the rest of it was left for us.  He had already filed for divorce and had my mother served about ten minutes after the movers showed up.  In his most detached voice he told her that it had been inevitable from the start. He then instructed her to “buck up” and move on, pointing out that per their pre-nup, she would be keeping the house, her jewelry and her car. 
    “For a girl that got knocked up in her senior year of high school, you made out quite well, Michelle,” he said matter-of-factly.  “I have to pay for everything for the kid until she’s out of college, which means that you’re in pole position to find a new sugar-daddy. You’re twenty-five and passably attractive, so it really shouldn’t be that hard.  If you’d like, I’ll even let some of the guys I hang out with know you’re on the market again.”
    She hadn’t said one word as she turned and walked away, and other than discussing things about me, she has never willingly spoken to him again.  
    I was never close to my father, ever, but I did love him and I prayed every night that I would be good enough for him to love me back.  That day I remember feeling like I should try to show him that I was sad he was leaving in the hopes he would stay for me. In my little girl mind I thought that may be if I told him, he would change his mind. 
    Walking over to where he was standing at the door watching the movers do their thing , I had tapped his arm to get his attention.  He looked down impatiently at me and snapped, “What?”
    “I… I don’t want you to go, Daddy.  I want you to stay here with me!”
    The tears that made their way down my cheeks were warm, but what he said back to me made them feel like battery acid permanently burning my face.
    “Jesus Christ, Mia!  First of all, don’t call me Daddy .  How many fucking times do I have to tell you that?  It’s either John, or Father if you absolutely insist on trying to pretend that I’m a parent.  Look, I get that you’re seven and you’ve got to do some sniveling about this, but, honestly, I really don’t have time for your bullshit.  I’m just a guy who made the mistake of nailing some two-bit trash without a condom.  I didn’t ever care about her and I certainly never wanted to have kids.  If my parents hadn’t insisted that I marry her, I wouldn’t have done it.  Now that they’re both dead, I’m free to finally live my life.  I did the best I could and if that’s not good enough for you, tough.  This is life, little girl.  It’s selfish of you to stand here and ask me to stay and be miserable.”
    I remember being glued to the spot with mortification and I said nothing as he glared at me.  With one final shake of his head, he looked at me and said, “Christ, you look even more like your mother when you cry.  How I got stuck with a family that looks like it came straight out of a Florida trailer park I will never know.”
    After those soul-crushing words, he had left without a backwards glance.  I didn’t see him again until six months later at Christmas, and that pretty much set up the framework of our ‘relationship’.  We spend Christmas Eve together with my Uncle Jesse and their aunts and uncles, and I see him again for Easter, also with his extended family.  If it weren’t for the fact that those were family events, I’d never see him at all.  Truth be told, I would prefer it that way.  In reality