Catch my fallen tears by Marion Studer Read Free Book Online Page B

better for Chloe to not hear the awful truth.
                  I turn, take my truck, park in front of my house, and unload all my stuff, let Rufus run free and walk into my house without another glance at Chloe. I know I’m an asshole for doing this to her and I’m hurting her, but it’s for her best.
                  Fuck!
                  I have just torn out my own heart and it hurts like shit. 

Torn apart
    Chloe
     
                  Oh god, what did just happen?
                  My head is screaming, my stomach clenched up and my hands are sweaty. I tremble, feeling cold in spite of the warm sun shining down on me. Tears heat my cheeks as they trail free, but I'm paralysed. I can't move to wipe them away, because he has chocked me into a frozen state. I should say something probably, but how without voice? I can't. So, what in hell could I possibly say, anyway?
                  In the safety of my house I let my tears fall like a waterfall on a rainy day. Dark and muggy. My back to the door, I slide down the cold surface until I hit the hard floor.
                  It happened again!
                  Oh dear god, don't let me have another anxiety attack.
                  My breath shallow and short leaves me with this squeezing pain in my chest. My mind wanders back to the day Tucker left my life; I was broken and shattered in tiny little pieces.
                  How could this happen twice in my life?
                  Why didn't he talk to me?
                  What did the horrible words of the sleazy guy at the diner mean? I don't know why this guy warned Tucker to stay away from me? Did Rob Carlson who was with that awful guy today tell him about us dating last year? But why would it even matter to him, it never got serious enough to make a deal out of it? And why of all things would it even matter to the guy whom Tucker is seeing or dating?
                  Arrgh, this is just another stab into my heart. Tucker doesn't date me; he just invited me to lunch. He only wants to be friends, didn't he say so? Just this morning he told me, he never stopped being my friend and it blew my mind. Did he really feel this way? But what about him placing this tiny little kisses onto each of my fingertips, letting me feel this achy tightness low in my belly? Do ‘just friends’ do such a thing? I'm still feeling his soft warm lips, feel the sincerity in his voice and the truth in his eyes. What I have seen in his eyes, it had to be more... Had to be… and it’s killing me.
                  First he steers up all this offbeat feelings, and then he pushes me away.
                  Didn't I know it will happen again?
                  Helplessness and sadness is all around me. Once more. This is all I can feel. It consumes me, entirely. It is what I breathe in. It is what I feel. It is what sinks deep into my soul, tumbling with the already existing million parts of shredded dreams.               Helplessness is cruel and torturous. It owns me. It makes me a prisoner in my own body, in my own mind and worse in my own heart. Helplessness leaves me with falling tears and no one to catch them.
                  From the open window I can hear him working on the outside, hammering away like a madman.
                  I notice a fog-like heaviness overtaking my body and it hurts everywhere. The fog is to much to take, it sweeps in and pulls me under and in a last ditch effort I try to remember Tucker’s voice when he tried to calm me down the other day and slowly bring my breathing to a steady rhythm.
                  Finally getting up and pouring some water into a glass, I stay at the window, silently watching for a while, painfully marvelling at this most beautiful man I have ever