Caught in Transition by Virginia May Read Free Book Online Page A

Sheelagh and the luggage inside and now I got to drive us home. This was another thing I never had to do before, so more pressure to get through Toronto ’ s rush hour and get home without hitting anything or falling asleep. A trip that would normally take one hour took nearly two hours, but we made it home safely. By the time I got Sheelagh inside and settled in bed and all the luggage in, I felt like I ’ d just finished running a marathon. Thank heavens that was over and we were home. I was so exhausted I think I fell asleep sitting up on the couch … again.  

    Home Recovery

    Sheelagh was so happy to be home, back where we belonged. She did not return to work until the beginning of March. The month of February was spent healing and waiting for the swelling to go down. Her pain was being handled well with the pain killers she was taking until she reached the three week mark. That was when the nerves started to reconnect in her forehead; she went from feeling just uncomfortable to experiencing real pain.  

    We still had a nightly routine of massaging her face and neck. The hardest part was the nose squeezing which hurt the worst. We did nose squeezing because there ’ s the incision below the nose and the broken bones within the nose and if massaging was not done she would end up with a big bulbous nose. Massaging pushes the extra moisture under the skin and helps it to drain into the lymphatic system and drain away, otherwise it accumulates in that tissue and a person would become disfigured.  

    Emotionally Sheelagh was feeling grounded and pretty good because she had survived the surgery. I was happy she had survived but wasn ’ t thrilled with all the constant massaging which took nearly an hour every night and made my fingers ache.

    Sheelagh Back to Work

    It was in August of 2011 that Sheelagh spoke to human resources at her place of work about transitioning on the job. The woman she spoke with was very professional and helpful, she said she would deal with it and talk to Sheelagh’s district manager about the transition. Sheelagh was extremely lucky to be working in a place that was supportive of the transition.  

    Sheelagh was going to go back to work for the very first time ever as a woman. Her company had brought in a transgender education consultant to do a seminar on transsexuals while Sheelagh was away from work getting FFS.  

    We had the following taped conversation about her return to work.  

    ME: Why did you have FFS? (Facial feminization surgery)  

    SHEELAGH: Well, I was such a darn gorgeous guy but a darn gorgeous guy doesn't necessarily make a good looking woman. I needed some surgical tune ups to my face so that people wouldn't get cognitive diffidence between the way I was living in the world and the way I may appear to them.  

    ME: Was it worth all the pain and everything you went through to be who you are now?  

    SHEELAGH: Absolutely worth it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.  

    ME: When you had to go back to work for the very first time as a woman how were you feeling?  

    SHEELAGH: Apprehensive, absolutely apprehensive. I did know that there had been that consultant brought in to talk to people I worked with about transitioning. I also knew it was voluntary attendance, so that meant to me that people who were overworked or looking for a break must have attended.  

    ME: Oh come on – not necessarily.  

    SHEELAGH: And the people who may have felt that god doesn ’ t believe in that stuff wouldn ’ t have attended.  

    ME: So you work with a lot of people who are like that?  

    SHEELAGH: No, not really, there ’ s just one on my floor who seems like that.  

    ME: So what was the very first day like for you?  

    SHEELAGH: I was brave – I was in a brave mood – I went in there feeling I was in my power and I felt good. I don ’ t know what I would have done if someone would have given me a really hard time, but I believe I could have stood up for myself.  

    ME: