Cha-Ching! by Ali Liebegott Read Free Book Online Page B

address Doralina gave her and left Cary Grant in the truck. She rang the doorbell twice, and eventually a dykey white woman wearing giant gray sweatpants opened the door. She looked Theo up and down, obviously surprised to find queerness on her own front step.
    Yonkers was a fucking time warp. Every place Theo had applied for a job she’d felt GAY , and had to ignore the gawker stares. When the eventual sirma’amsir documentary was made, Yonkers would be the new habitat where Theo finds herself uncamouflaged, waiting to be plucked and eaten by a hate-criming, carnivorous bird.
    When she left San Francisco Theo had thought she didn’t care if she ever saw a gay pride flag again. Sometimes she’d even wanted to scream, “Put some goddamned pants on!” at the men who walked down the sidewalk in assless chaps. But the gay people in Yonkers seemed to lack not just gay pride, but gay ambition. A week removed from the gay mecca, and Theo was already fantasizing about founding a gay support group for pimple-faced Randy and dykey Doralina.
    Doralina led Theo up two flights of stairs to a small attic room with a slanted roof that was just big enough to accommodate her futon. The floor was covered in bright red carpet the color of Ronald McDonald’s hair. A tiny airplane-size window hung like a painting where the slanted ceiling met the wall.
    â€œI love it,” Theo said after standing in the room for ten seconds.
    Doralina seemed surprised.
    â€œMost people think it’s too small.”
    â€œI don’t have that much stuff,” Theo said. “Do you want to meet my dog?”
    â€œOkay.”
    Theo wondered if Doralina was on heavy drugs. There was something very underwater about her.
    They walked back downstairs, and Theo rolled down the window so Doralina could see Cary Grant.
    â€œIt’s a pit bull?” Doralina said.
    â€œI think so.”
    â€œThey bite kids?”
    Cary Grant watched Doralina.
    â€œShe’s never bitten a child,” Theo said, unsure if that was true.
    â€œDoes she bark?” Doralina asked.
    In the week that Theo had had the dog the only noise she’d ever heard her make was the yelp when she was thrown onto the Taco Lady’s tarp.
    â€œNo, she’s a good dog.”
    Doralina reached through the window to pet Cary Grant but the dog ducked away from her hand.
    â€œShe’s shy,” Theo offered.
    â€œJust lock her up when my son comes over. I don’t need no hospital bills.”
    Theo was surprised by the news of Dykey Doralina’s kid, and for a second she wondered if she was wrong about her being gay.
    â€œWhen are you looking to move in?” Doralina asked.
    Theo didn’t want to let on that she was homeless. She also didn’t want to spend another night sleeping in her truck.
    â€œI could move in now,” Theo said, “as long as I’m here.”
    â€œIt’s six hundred dollars for rent and deposit,” Doralina said in a tough voice, almost like a challenge.
    Theo reached under the driver’s seat for her coffee can. She counted six hundred dollars in twenty-dollar bills. The can was almost empty, and a wave of panic went through her. She’d count exactly how much was left later when she was alone. She’d gotten a job and a place to live, and while many would interpret a cashier position at a convenience store and a tiny room in a Yonkers apartment as fucking dismal, Theo knew in her bones that life was looking up.
    Doralina helped Theo drag the futon and boxes up to her room. Within an hour her belongings were put away and she’d put sheets on her bed. Cary Grant lay on the bright red carpet in a tight circle watching Theo’s every move. Theo couldn’t wait to take a shower. She unpacked her duffel bag looking for clean underwear and saw the wig. It made her miss Olivia deeply. She hung it on the doorknob and went to the bathroom to fill Cary Grant’s water