Champagne Rules by Susan Lyons Read Free Book Online Page B

guy—’”
    “Groan,” Jenny broke in.
    “ ‘ . . . new-age guy,’ ” Ann persisted, “‘who loves Greece and good sex. I’ll be up front and say I’m not the man who shared that cave, but it sounds like fun. I’ve been told I’m a good lover, and I believe in always satisfying my partner. How about giving me a chance to satisfy you?’ ”
    She turned the paper facedown. “Give the man points for trying.”
    “I wonder how big his dick is?” Jenny said. Rina swatted her with another sheet of paper. “My turn. This one’s from ‘sugarpie.’ ‘If you think sex with a man can be good, just wait until you’ve tried it with a woman.’ ” She broke off. “Oh my, I do believe you’ve hooked yourself an inhabitant of the isle of Lesbos, outrageous69. And that island was in Greece, right? Anyhow, sugarpie says, ‘No man can ever understand your body the way I can. No man will ever respect and worship it as I will. No man will—’”
    “No dick at all,” Jenny broke in, and they all laughed.
    “Enough,” Suzanne said. “I freely confess I’m looking for a dick and—oops!” She broke off as the waiter appeared, bearing a huge platter of food.
    Everyone took a moment to admire the presentation of spanokopita, calamari, those yummy little meatballs, dolmathes, pita bread and hummus and tzatziki dips. They each took a favorite, as the waiter added a big bowl of Greek salad to the table.
    Suzanne popped a bit of hummus-laden pita into her mouth, then glanced down at the first sheet on her own pile of replies. What she saw made her choke and swallow the wrong way. When she could talk again, she said, “This is freaky. ‘Young woman, your feet are on the wrong path. It’s time to return to fundamental values.’ ”
    “A religious nut,” Ann commented.
    “Listen to the rest. ‘But first you must atone and be punished. Submit yourself to me and I will oversee your salvation.’”
    “A sadistic religious freak. He wants to tie you up and whip you,” Jenny said. “That sure wouldn’t turn my crank.” Then she smirked at Ann. “But maybe you should reply. You’re the one who likes being tied up.”
    Ann stuck out her tongue. “Silk, tied very loosely. And he definitely wasn’t whipping me, at least not with anything more than his tongue—and his eight-inch dick.”
    “Oooh!” Rina sighed, fanning herself with her stack of e-mails. “Eight inches. Imahottie just doesn’t measure up.” She stuck her fork into a stuffed grape leaf, lifted the neat, sausageshaped bundle close to her mouth and ran her tongue suggestively around her lips. Then she took a large chomp, and the other three burst into laughter.
    It was the most food Suzanne had ever seen Rina put in her mouth at one time.
    The four of them carried on, taking turns reading, until Suzanne said, “This is depressing. The world is full of some very strange people.”
    “Don’t despair,” Rina said, holding up a sheet of paper.
    “This one sounds interesting. ‘I remember the cave. It was above the bay, where people sunbathed nude.’ ”
    “That was all in the ad,” Suzanne broke in. Rina held up her hand and read on. “‘The sand was so fine, the color of milk. Like the skin of your breasts, where the sun hadn’t touched them.’ ”
    Suzanne sucked in a breath. “That’s true. Oh my God, this could be him.”
    Rina continued. “‘You were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen and it killed me to know you were my best friend’s wife.’ Oh! Oh my!” She glanced up, her eyes wide, then went back to the letter. “ ‘ We agreed it would just be that once but I couldn’t get you out of my mind and that’s why, when we all got back from holidays, I left town. But if this is really you, Jaclyn, and you want to see me, tell me where and when and I’ll be there.’ ”
    She put the piece of paper down. “Tacky.”
    “Yeah. Messing with his friend’s wife,” Jenny grumbled. Suzanne, who realized her mouth was