Champagne Toast by Melissa Brown Read Free Book Online Page A

on my stomach.  “ You look upset. ”
    “ No, I ’ m fine.  But, did you mean what you just said?  You want to know my weaknesses?  You really want to know the bad stuff as well as the good? ”
    “ I meant every word.  Every single word. ”
    “ Okay, then.  I have something I need to tell you and I ’ m not sure how you ’ ll take it.  But, I feel like I have to tell you and it ’ s killing me not to, so I ’ m just going to say it .” 
    “ What is it? ” Evan asks, sitting up and looking deeply into my eyes.
    “ Well, you know that I broke up with Shawn so that you and I could be together.  After we slept together .” 
    “ Yeah? ” Evan asks tentatively, cringing a little.  Evan has always been uncomfortable with the fact that we slept together before I officially called things off with Shawn.  Evan ’ s not a cheater like I am , and part of me hates myself for allowing him to cheat with me, like I ’ ve spoiled him or something.
    “ Well, it ’ s sort of a pattern that I have. ”
    “C heating, you mean? ” The words bite into my heart.  But, he ’ s right.  I ’ m a cheater.  Always have been.
    “ Yeah, you could say that .”  I nod.
    “ Can you elaborate? ” Evan asks as I sit up to face him.  I look down at the comforter, grasping it between my thumb and forefinger. 
    Evan presses, “ Kate, baby, look at me.  What do you want to tell me? ”
    “ I cheat, Evan.  On everyone. ”
    “ Everyone? ” he asks in disbelief.
    “ Yes, every boyfriend I ’ ve ever had.  It started in high school.  I ’ d been with my boyfriend, Landon, for six months , and all of a sudden, I became restless.  I felt trapped, like I was drowning, like I couldn ’ t breathe or something.  So, I started flirting with this guy, Tim. Before I knew it, I was making out with Tim in his car in the school parking lot.  Landon found out, of course, and we broke up.  And then, I started dating Tim. ”
    “ And you cheated on Tim, too? ” Evan asks.  I no d sheepishly.  He takes a deep breath in before speaking, “ So, every single guy you ’ ve ever dated, you ’ ve cheated on.  I ’ m not gonna lie, I ’ m a little freaked out because I ’ m so into you, Kate.  I could really see this going somewhere, but not if you ’ re going to repeat your pattern. ”
    “ I won ’ t, Evan.  I promise. ”
    “ Have you promised before? ” he asks gently.  He ’ s not trying to hurt me, just understand.  I feel safe in this conversation.
    “ No, I haven ’ t.  No one has ever asked.  I ’ ve never even had this conversation before, to be honest ,” I reveal.
    “ But, you ’ re having it with me. ”
    “ But, I ’ m having it with you, ” I repeat, finally looking into his eyes . I feel as if I ’ m lying naked in front of him.  Never before have I felt so vulnerable, so exposed, so terrified.
    “ Thank you for telling me, ” Evan says softly, stroking my cheek with the backs of his fingers.
    “ I ’ ll understand if you want to leave.  Honestly, I get it.   It ’ s fine, ” I say, my voice cracking as I shrug my shoulders, trying to put my tough exterior back on.  But, it ’ s heavy and it ’ s difficult to put back on once it ’ s been taken off.  Evan laughs quietly before shaking his head.
    “ You have no idea, do you?  You have no idea how into you I really am.  I ’ m in way too deep . . . there ’ s no way I ’ m walking out that door.  I ’ m not going anywhere , Kate.  But, I hope to God you don ’ t do that to us.  You with another guy?  That would kill me, ” he says, his brow furrowed and frustrated.  Now he is the one who ’ s exposed. He ’ s the one who ’ s laying his heart on the line. It ’ s comforting and daunting all at the same time.
    “ I think it would kill me, too, ” I admit. “ Ev, I . . . ” My words fail and tears begin to well in my eyes.  I ’ m so pissed at myself, I can hardly stand it.  I hate crying in