Charlie Joe Jackson's Guide to Not Growing Up by Tommy Greenwald Read Free Book Online

we sat at this exact table?”
    I thought for a second. Megan and I got along really well, but that didn’t mean we went out for ice cream very often. More like, never.
    â€œUh, no, why?”
    â€œBecause it was hilarious, that’s why.” She pointed. “I’d just read that book for you at the library, and you were freaking out because Timmy and Hannah were having ice cream together.”
    â€œOh, snap,” Katie said. “I remember hearing about that. I remember hearing about that a lot .”
    â€œOh yeah, it’s a little foggy but it’s coming back to me now,” I said, which was a complete and utter lie. I remembered every second of that day like it was yesterday.
    â€œWatching you watch Timmy as he flirted with Hannah was pretty hilarious,” Megan said. “You looked like you wanted to take his milkshake and pour it down his pants.”
    â€œI don’t remember that,” I said. Again … lie.
    The shakes came, and I downed half of mine in one gulp. I drink milkshakes really fast when I feel a little nervous. And also, when I don’t feel nervous at all. And everything in between.
    Katie, meanwhile, took a tiny sip. “Charlie Joe, you spent so much time liking Hannah Spivero. Like, years.”
    â€œDo we have to talk about this on my birthday?” I whined.
    â€œYou’re right, Charlie Joe, that’s old news,” Megan said. “Let’s talk about you two. So Katie, what’s the deal? When do you have to decide about private school?”
    â€œLike, in the next few weeks, I think,” Katie answered.
    Megan chomped on an onion ring. “That’s so cool,” she said. “Are you psyched about it? I mean, private school sounds kinds of awesome in a way, right? It’s almost like being in college.”
    â€œI guess,” Katie said. “But I would miss my friends a lot.”
    â€œTotally,” Megan agreed.
    â€œI kind of think you should totally go,” I said, out of the blue.
    â€œHuh?” said Katie.
    I gulped some more shake. “I mean, why not? Everything else is changing around here. What’s one more totally changing thing? Out with the old, in with the new, on to the next, right?”
    They both stared at me like I had two heads.
    Here’s why: When Katie first told me she was thinking of going to private school, I kind of freaked out a little bit.
    Fine, not a little bit—a lot.
    Fine, not a lot—a ton.
    It was right at the time when we were realizing we liked each other, after Zoe had moved away, and I couldn’t believe the timing. Going to private school isn’t exactly the same as moving, but it’s basically the same thing, right? It’s basically out of your life, right? Anyway, I started thinking about all the ways I could make sure she wouldn’t go to private school, so we could be together. One of those ways involved a cupcake-eating chicken named Cletus. It wasn’t pretty.
    So the fact that I was encouraging her to go to private school after all that was kind of shocking. To them, and to me.
    â€œAre you serious?” Katie asked. “Or is this a joke? I can’t tell.”
    â€œMe neither,” I said.
    â€œYou’re lucky it’s your birthday, otherwise I’d be getting really mad right about now,” Katie said, which was funny because she was sounding plenty mad already.
    I raised my hands in that clueless kind of way. “What did I do? I’m just encouraging you to go away if that’s what you want.”
    â€œWho said that’s what I want?”
    â€œI think I know what’s going on here,” Megan jumped in. “Charlie Joe, Katie is a little hurt that you aren’t asking her to stay here with you.” Megan shifted her gaze from me to Katie. “And sorry, Katie, but my brother is acting out, the way he always does when he gets nervous. He’s obviously a little uptight