Charlinder's Walk by Alyson Miers Read Free Book Online Page A

laughing out loud. "Okay," he squeaked, "what about the rest of Jesus' life?"
     
    "Ah, yes," Charlinder continued. "It was a very creative load of malarkey, and not even Mary could have predicted how well it would go over, but she has to keep the lie up to keep herself out of trouble. So she and Joseph tell little Jesus he's the son of God, or else he might ask some really awkward questions about why he looks nothing like this guy he calls Dad. And Jesus is a cool kid. He's a nice boy, and a smart boy, but he's also a little wacky as his mom did hallucinogens while she was pregnant, so he grows up thinking he can make all sorts of crazy shit happen. He gets together this minion squad called the Disciples, and they help him go around and make himself notoriously perverse and contrarian. If he can't be famous, he'll just have to be infamous. And underneath the insanity, he does have some pretty gutsy things to say, so he starts building up some followers, until he's thirty-three, when he finally annoys the Romans so much they nail him to a cross and leave him to die of blood loss and septic shock. Or at least he looks like they killed him, wakes up in the tomb a few days later, and comes out to find this hot chick Mary Magdalene, who's very happy to see him with a pulse, and there was much rejoicing in the land. So he keeps carrying on a little while longer, until he 'ascended to Heaven,' which probably means he snorted up some hallucinogen and hopped off a cliff, but all's well, because the minions, I mean the Disciples, now called the Apostles, are still around spreadin' The Word," he finished.

    Kenny had now resorted to snorting like a piglet to control his laughter. "I'm so glad we're not with Brucie!" he snickered.
     
    "He'd be trying to kill me right now," Charlinder agreed.

    "What would you say about the miracles?" asked Kenny. "I remember hearing something about some fish and loaves, and there was a leper getting cured, too."
     
    Charlinder made a noncommittal sort of noise and corresponding shrug. "Exaggeration. The Bible was edited by people, even if they like to think it was written by God."

    Kenny grinned. "If Bruce and all of them are right, and there is a God, you're going to Hell."

    Charlinder scoffed. “Whatever, I’ll see you there.”

     

    After they kept quiet long enough, they saw a young buck big enough to be worth shooting. They both took aim but missed.

    They waited. The difference between "waiting" and "doing nothing" was that when you did nothing, you were relaxed. Hunting involved a lot of waiting, by definition. The primary difference between Charlinder's and Kenny's waiting was that Kenny might have been waiting for another deer to show up, while Charlinder was waiting to see that it didn’t.
     
    "You didn't bring me out here for my good aim," whispered Charlinder. Kenny looked back at him. "And you weren't looking to hear my theory of the so-called Immaculate Conception, either."

    "It's a pretty good story."
     
    "Still, though. What was it you wanted to ask me, that you couldn't in the village?"

    Kenny looked back at the forest floor. "I don't really know. Maybe I should be asking someone older, like your uncle, or Miriam. Or my mom, for that matter."

    "But I'm here, since you dragged me out when I could have been sleeping, so...what’s going on?”

    “Might as well," admitted Kenny. "Do you notice that the Faithful are getting..." he searched for the right word, "tougher? Now? Than they used to be?"
     
    "Tougher. Sure. What have you seen from them?"

    "Like Robert showing up at the school asking to lecture the kids."
     
    "Who told you about that?"

    "Robert told me. He was all annoyed about it, too, like you wouldn't give him a chance to say what he had to say or something."

    Charlinder snorted. "Yeah, right. It's his problem if he can't get the kids to listen to him on their own time, he’s not preaching to them on mine.”

    "And did you notice they're doing the Sermons