some point there will be a dinner party I can wear it to. Give me ten minutes to change, and we can be on our way. I know this is a stupid question, but are you okay?â
âNo, Iâm not okay. I feel like someone ripped out my guts. My head feels like cotton candy, and my heart is beating way too fast. I just want to get my dog and curl up with him so I can bawl my eyes out and have him lick my face. I need to do that, Sadie. You know, get it out of the way. Damn, the house was supposed to be this big surprise! I know Matt would have loved your old house as much as I do. It was going to be our getaway place or maybe our home base. Iâm just now beginning to realize I didnât know Matt Starr. How can that be, Sadie? I was going to marry a man I know nothing about. Letâs go to Pearl Street Pasta before we pick up Buzz. Iâm not saying Iâm going to eat. I just want to get out of here so I can breathe.â
Forty minutes later they were seated at a cozy table in back of the bar area perusing the menu. It was warm and comfortable, the lighting dim. As the hour wore on, Sadie watched in horror as Lily downed one drink after another. She didnât try to stop her.
âDennis said heâs going to file a missing personâs report. He said he thinks something happened to Matt. Do you want to hear this, Lily?â
âNo. You have to wait forty-eight hours before filing a missing personâs report. You know that as well as I do. I donât care what he does. Tell me something you havenât already told me about your old house. Just talk to me. I donât care what you say, just talk. Oh, Sadie, I hope you like what I did to your grandmotherâs house. When you come to visit, it wonât look anything like you remember it. The outside is the same, but the inside is all open and airy. The kitchen is so modern, state-of-the-art, the bathrooms are elegant with sunken tubs and big gorgeous garden windows. The architect is worth every cent Iâm paying him.â
âI think staying in Natchez is going to be the best thing for you. Take as much time as you need to get squared away. Soak up the town, take pictures, go for walks, visit the library, and read everything you can. Ask for a tour of the grade school if you think you might want to teach. Hire a housekeeper. Thatâs going to be a mission in itself. You know you canât cook, and youâre no great shakes at keeping house. Youâll need to check out the vet in case Buzz needs shots or something. Staying here a few months out of the year never gave us time to do the ordinary things other people do. We were here, we were in Fort Lauderdale, then weâd go to New York, and then Wyoming. It wasnât like either one of us actually lived in Natchez. I imagine youâll be busy for a few weeks. Whatever you do, donât go playing sad songs on the stereo and donât read any sad novels either. Deal with the here and now.â
âIt was supposed to be for us . Not just me,â Lily said, peering across the table at her friend. âThere is no us now.â
âYouâre going to do this because itâs the thing to do, and itâs just you and Buzz. You can handle it, Lily. Later you can do whatever you want. You have to get through this period of time the best way you can. You canât go back to Ozzie and the camp because you need to go forward. To go back would be courting disaster. Who knows, old Matt might come to his senses and start looking for you. Some guys get off on crap like that. Youâre way too vulnerable now.â
Lily didnât speak for a long time. When she looked up at her friend, there were tears in her eyes.
âDo you think something happened to Matt, Sadie?â
âNo, I donât. I think heâs still afraid of commitment.â
âThen do you think that million dollars he put in my bank account was a payoff? Do you think he did that