hair in fat curls or silky smooth and straight, and choosing the perfect outfit and jewelry. Ivy showed up to school one day in my senior year with all her hair shaved off. I’m a nurse, helping save people’s lives. She leaves them with permanent scars all over their skin.
“I didn’t realize you guys talked so much,” I murmur, appraising my limp hair. I haven’t showered since the detectives dropped me off two days ago.
“You should visit her. She works at her cousin’s shop. The Fine Needle? Or something like that. Anyway, I’m sure you can find it easily.”
“Sure, if I have time.” Alex can probably hear the empty intentions in my voice. “Talk to you later.”
“Have fun, Amber. And call me when you cross off number one on the list.”
I hang up with a snort and then a laugh. One unusually mild night in March, Alex insisted on starting a list for me—Amber’s travel “bucket list.” I had just spent the entire day booking thousands of dollars’ worth of flights and self-medicating my rejection by Aaron with a bottle of zinfandel. It was just the two of us out on the front porch, the creak of that old swing and our cackles disturbing the quiet, wrapped in blankets and warmed by the chiminea that Jesse had lit for us before he bolted, desperate to be free of female emotion.
The list actually started off as a complete joke, a way to get me excited about the trip. Wine made my suggestions bold, a few outright ridiculous. Guaranteed I’ll return home with half of the lines untouched. And yet I find myself looking at the list almost daily, the opportunity to check something off giving me a small thrill.
Reaching into my small black travel wallet now, I pull out the folded paper that’s tucked inside, reading Alex’s neat, flowery handwriting with a smile.
1. Have a torrid affair with a foreigner. Country: TBD.
A torrid affair may be a little dramatic. It’s definitely a few steps up from the common vacation hookup, another one of those things that I’ve secretly envied others for being able to do. Ever since my college roommate, Deirdre Carlino, came back from her backpacking trip with stories about this hot weeklong fling with a guy from France, I’ve wondered if I’d have the guts to do something like that. Shed my “Sheriff’s daughter” cloak of integrity and common sense, and simply not care. Push aside all the real instances of unplanned pregnancies and STD cases that I’ve seen while working in the hospital and just embrace the experience.
A torrid affair could certainly help with the pang in my heart every time Aaron creeps into my thoughts.
Most of the items on this list are landmark-related and touristy: float through the grottos, Capri, Italy; tour vineyards on a bicycle, Bordeaux, France ; sleep on a beach, Phuket, Thailand . That last one is a definite no. That’s how you wake up mugged.
A few are just practical: Take a picture of a Laundromat. Country: All. With only one suitcase, I already have four snapshots for my collection.
Some of the items already have tidy little marks beside them. Take a train through the Canadian Rockies . Check. Dress like a Bond Girl and play a round of poker at a casino. Check. I groan with mortification at that memory, though in hindsight it’s kind of funny. A young single woman in a flirty black dress and stiletto heels at a poker table in a Montreal casino . . . I guess I can see why the man who approached and offered me two thousand dollars for the night might mistake me for an escort. He was quite polite about the request, though, and extremely apologetic when my jaw dropped and he realized his terrible mistake. Of course I had to Google what the going rate is for paid escorts. Apparently, two thousand is considered high-end. At least I can claim that much out of the experience. Not that my dad—the man I begged for poker lessons before I left—would be too impressed with that story.
I scan the rest of the list for