ClarenceBN by Sarah M. Anderson Read Free Book Online Page B

else was. I could have re-upped for another tour, but I wanted to come home.” He turned to her and grinned. “I saw the world, but I missed home. Never thought I would, but I did.”
    She’d never even gotten off the rez, except to go grocery shopping. Seeing Rapid City wasn’t really the same thing as seeing the whole world. “And you’ve been working at the Clinic since then?”
    “Yup.” He sighed, looking around his place. “This was the house I grew up in. My mom died while I was at sea. I came home, fixed it up, started working at the Clinic. It’s not exactly exciting, but it’s not bad.”
    “It’s amazing,” she said. He gave her a look that said he didn’t quite believe her. “I wish . . . I always wanted to get off the rez and see the world.”
    “But life happens,” he said quietly.
    “Yeah, you could say that. Mikey happened, anyway.” She looked down to where their hands were joined. “This is probably the first time I’ve left him to do something for myself.”
    A weird mix of emotions played through her as she said it. She was thrilled she’d done something for herself—but yet, she still felt guilty that she’d left him for something as selfish as a peaceful meal that didn’t involve spills or screaming.
    Clarence was watching the sky. Thin clouds scurried over the bright blue sky. “Really? You haven’t even gone out since he was born?”
    “No.” Now she just felt ashamed. Who was she going to go out with? There’d been no interest in her, none at all. And truthfully, she hadn’t sought that attention out. Something about being knocked up and dumped made a girl wary. “Not since his father left before he was born.” She’d gained so much weight while she was pregnant and hadn’t managed to lose any of it afterwards. “Not that many men are interested in a—well, in someone like me.”
    He appeared to think that over. “Well, most men are idiots.”
    She grinned as she felt her cheeks heat up. “This has been really nice. Much better than just a few minutes in the morning.”
    He took a drink. “We could do this again.”
    The way he said it made it sound like . . . dating. Something that happened regularly. Something that was dependable. “We could.”  
    Clarence squeezed her hand. “Do you want to?”
    Want . A few days ago, he’d whispered in her ear that he wanted her and for an electric second, she wasn’t the single mother of a young boy but a woman who was being chased by a good man who could reduce her to a quivering mass of jelly with a few simple words.
    She turned her hand over and laced her fingers with his. “Did you mean what you said? That you wanted me ?” She had to force herself to say that last word because it was still so hard for her to believe that anyone would want her. “Because I don’t want to be played again and I won’t let Mikey get played with me.”
    Clarence picked up her hand and kissed her palm. “You were played?”
    His lips were warm against her palm, which was rapidly heating up other parts of her body. She tried to push the desire down. “I was stupid. I was twenty and I had a decent body and I thought . . .” She’d thought men could be trusted, that love would conquer all and that everything would work out. She’d thought she was smarter than she’d turned out to be.
    “You’re beautiful,” he murmured—and then he kissed her palm again. “I like your body. I like you .”
    She couldn’t respond to that because she just didn’t know how. All she could do was sit there as want—need—started to course through her veins.
    Once, she’d liked sex. A lot. But she hadn’t had the time to even think about it for the last four years or so, not when she fell into bed in a state of exhaustion every single night.
    “You’re twenty-four?” he asked, still holding tight to her hand.
    “Yeah.” Some days she felt so old, but she knew there were people in this world who were still in college, still trying to