Clarissa Harlowe or the History of a Young Lady - Volume 5 by Samuel Richardson Read Free Book Online Page A

victory, or conquest, is the more proper word.
    There is a pleasure, 'tis true, in subduing one of these watchful beauties. But by my soul, Belford, men of our cast take twenty times the pains to be rogues than it would cost them to be honest; and dearly, with the sweat of our brows, and to the puzzlement of our brains, (to say nothing of the hazards he run,) do we earn our purchase; and ought not therefore to be grudged our success when we meet with it--especially as, when we have obtained our end, satiety soon follows; and leaves us little or nothing to show for it. But this, indeed, may be said of all worldly delights.--And is not that a grave reflection from me?
    I was willing to write up to the time. Although I have not carried my principal point, I shall make something turn out if my favour from Captain Tomlinson's errand. But let me give thee this caution; that thou do not pretend to judge of my devices by parts; but have patience till thou seest the whole. But once more I swear, that I will not be out-Norris'd by a pair of novices. And yet I am very apprehensive, at times, of the consequences of Miss Howe's smuggling scheme.
    My conscience, I should think, ought not to reproach me for a contrivance, which is justified by the contrivances of two such girls as these: one of whom (the more excellent of the two) I have always, with her own approbation, as I imagine, proposed for my imitation.
    But here, Jack, is the thing that concludes me, and cases my heart with adamant: I find, by Miss Howe's letters, that it is owing to her, that I have made no greater progress with my blooming fair-one. She loves me. The ipecacuanha contrivance convinces me that she loves me. Where there is love there must be confidence, or a desire of having reason to confide. Generosity, founded on my supposed generosity, has taken hold of her heart. Shall I not now see (since I must forever be unhappy, if I marry her, and leave any trial unessayed) what I can make of her love, and her newly-raised confidence?--Will it not be to my glory to succeed? And to her's and to the honour of her sex, if I cannot?--Where then will be the hurt to either, to make the trial? And cannot I, as I have often said, reward her when I will by marriage?
    'Tis late, or rather early; for the day begins to dawn upon me. I am plaguy heavy. Perhaps I need not to have told thee that. But will only indulge a doze in my chair for an hour; then shake myself, wash and refresh. At my time of life, with such a constitution as I am blessed with, that's all that's wanted.
    Good night to me!--It cannot be broad day till I am
awake.--Aw-w-w-whaugh--pox of this yawning!
    Is not thy uncle dead yet?
    What's come to mine, that he writes not to my last?--Hunting after more wisdom of nations, I suppose!--Yaw-yaw-yawning again!--Pen, begone!
LETTER VII
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.
MONDAY, MAY 29.
    Now have I established myself for ever in my charmer's heart.
    The Captain came at seven, as promised, and ready equipped for his journey. My beloved chose not to give us her company till our first conversation was over--ashamed, I suppose, to be present at that part of it which was to restore her to her virgin state by my confession, after her wifehood had been reported to her uncle. But she took her cue, nevertheless, and listened to all that passed.
    The modestest women, Jack, must think, and think deeply sometimes. I wonder whether they ever blush at those things by themselves, at which they have so charming a knack of blushing in company. If not; and if blushing be a sign of grace or modesty; have not the sex as great a command over their blushes as they are said to have over their tears? This reflection would lead me a great way into female minds, were I disposed to pursue it.
    I told the Captain, that I would prevent his question; and accordingly (after I had enjoined the strictest secrecy, that no advantage might be given to James Harlowe, and which he had answered for as well on Mr.