guzzle it down, but I resisted, wanting to be able to make it last. I was feeling weird around Ben and needed to keep something there to hold in my hand as a prop, if nothing else. I felt on the defense around him, but I wasn't sure if it was nervousness stemming from the binding ceremony or the fact that I still wasn't sure who he was or even who I was anymore. Life had changed so much in the last twenty-four hours, I was having a hard time adjusting or something.
"Did you design this room yourself?" I asked, taking a few steps back from him before wandering over to the tapestry with the dragons again. There were four of the magical beasts on this one. They all had a mix of colors to their scales, but each had one that was dominant. From left to right, there was one purple, one silver, one red, and one black. My eyes lingered on the black one, wondering if I had his fang in the holster at my leg. I reached down absently to touch it, wondering if the slight warmth I felt there was my imagination.
"Yes. I prefer darker colors. I find them soothing."
I nodded. "It's nice. A little medieval, but nice."
"It is from my time," he said.
I turned to look at him. He was staring at one of the dragons - the red one.
"What do you mean ... from your time?"
He looked at me, his eyes penetrating into mine. "I am a changeling too, but I was changed a long time ago." He turned his gaze back to the tapestry. "When I was your age, this was the style."
"So that makes you, like ... a few hundred years old."
"Give or take," he said, noncommittally.
"You don't seem a day over three hundred," I said, forcing myself to keep a straight face.
"Thank you. I think."
"You're welcome."
He was staring at me now instead of the tapestry, making me feel nervous again.
I cleared my throat and walked around him to get closer to the artwork, moving along the wall and following the flow of the design in the threads. "This is amazing. It looks almost ... magical," I said, admiring the way the picture seemed to wink at me with its lights.
"It is."
I stopped, turning my head sharply to look at him, to see if he was kidding.
His expression held no trace of humor.
"In what way?" I asked, itching to touch it, but now a little afraid.
"In ways we don't need to talk about right now," he said, walking over and taking me by the hand, leading me to the couch. "Come sit. Let's talk about us."
My heart leaped into my throat and my hands immediately began to sweat. "Us? You mean, you and me?" I said, my voice coming out sounding slightly choked.
He sat on the couch and pulled me down next to him, letting my hand go. "Don't panic. I'm not going to jump you." He smiled humorlessly.
I didn't trust myself to speak, so I took a sip of my water instead. I looked at him over the rim of my glass, remembering how I'd despised him and wanted him dead as recently as yesterday and as far back as all the months before that - since the first time I'd laid eyes on him, practically. He was like a different person now, though. I wondered how that could even be possible. Who had changed? Him or me? I pulled the glass away from my face and swallowed.
"I told you already, Jayne," he said, looking at me earnestly. "You are the one calling the shots here. I'll be whatever you need me to be for you, okay? No pressure."
"How come everyone keeps saying that to me?" I asked, smiling crookedly. "The no pressure thing."
"Because. You put too much of it on yourself. It blocks your power and sometimes sends it awry. You just need to learn to relax and go with the flow of our realm."
"You make it sound so easy."
"It can be, once you learn how to let go."
"Letting go?" I asked. "Like you do? Just let the world do what it does and not interfere?"
He smiled, nodding his head. "Okay, so I've not yet learned to master the art of letting go completely."
"Or at all," I suggested.
"Now you're being