in the yard along with a lone police car. I was immobile in the front seat, frozen in place but wanting to flee. I did not want to hear those word s again , I could not lose James now after finding him again. It was Charlotte who opened the door and held out her hand.
“Come on Mum, I'm here for you” her voice wobbled as she tried to be my strength. It took Julia's hand in my other to steady me.
My legs felt leaden, the door felt a mile away as I dragged my feet. Rob was there in uniform with another Police Officer. They parted to let me through and a breath of pure relief escaped from my lips. James was there, he was alive but he had his head down and his arms wrapped around a black and red motorbike helmet.
“Sorry we had to call you but I don't think James will be capable of driving tonight” Rob said, his voice echoing in the large expanse of the fire station.
Charlie's hand started to shake in mine before it dropped from my grasp. I watched her walk in slow motion towards James before sinking to her knees in front of him, holding out her hands for the helmet. She knew it belonged to Mitchell. He let it drop from his arms into hers and that was when her scream filled the air, like a wolf in pain. I could see now the damage on it, but where was his body? I turned in confusion to Rob, the sight of my daughter and James in despair too much to comprehend.
“What happened?” were the only words I could utter. Rob took my free arm and ushered me to another couple of seats, Julia took the other.
“The fire crew was called to an overturned car just on the bend by the bridge and the river. The driver was drunk and lost control, no other vehicles involved until one of the fire crew saw another skid mark in the road. They found broken stone on the parapet of the bridge and scrambled down the bank. That's when they found the helmet”
I looked across at James, who raised his tear swollen eyes to me. Rob continued.
“We searched as much as we could in the dark but no sign of a bike or a body at this stage so we will resume the search in daylight. James recognised the helmet from his initials that are incorporated into the design work”
“I kno w it’ s his” James said, raking his hands through his hair. I went to him as Julia made the same short walk to cuddle Charlotte in her arms.
The screams had been replaced my sobs, I had two broken hearts to console it seemed. I looked up at Rob.
“Is there any hope he is still alive?”
“I can't say, at this stage” Rob said “I'm sorry” he hung his head and looked away. I guessed from his posture that he thought not, but I had to try and keep the small hope alive.
“Come on let's go home” I said, my voice wobbled on the last word. Would it ever feel like home again? Julia helped Charlotte to her feet and then prised the helmet from her tight grip and gave it back to the other police officer. James shrugged off my arms and stood up.
“Count me in on the search, I need to help” he said to Rob.
“Go home James, I'll call you tomorrow morning”
“I'll get one of the lads on shift to bring his car over to your house tomorrow” Eric said “and I don't expect to see you for a week, you can't work competently in this state” he said to James.
With a nod of his head James followed me to the car and I drove home in silence, well except for the odd sniff from the backseat. Jester made a beeline for his master and offered his head in James' lap.
“Anyone for a hot chocolate or tea” I asked.
Charlotte and Julia shook their heads.
“I'm going to bed” Charlie murmured, her mind stuck on the image of the helmet. Julia followed “I will keep an eye on her” she said to me. I knew that she meant to sleep in the same room and for that I was glad. She would probably offer more comfort that I could.
I went to the drinks cabinet and poured us a brandy and handed the glass to James. He took a small sip and then put in aside so