Coconuts and Wonderbras by Lynda Renham Read Free Book Online Page A

Two hundred pounds overdrawn! That can’t be right. I print out a balance sheet and cringe. Debenhams £98. I struggle to remember what it was that I had bought in Debenhams. Oh yes, the shoes I had treated myself to for the party. What a waste of money that was. Eighty quid to that bitch Rosemary Conley for the pleasure of starving me. Well, not her personally of course. Then there had been the fortune I had spent in Tesco. Oh, and yes, the low fat cookbook. I had forgotten about that. But, hang on, this can’t be right, two hundred and fifty pounds taken by the electricity board. How can that be right? I live in a little cottage not a bloody nuclear station. I know I have been using the vibrator a bit more but bloody hell. Good job I didn’t have a multiple orgasm, it may have blown the entire electrical network. I make a mental note to query the bill and quickly withdraw thirty pounds before I change my mind. The rent hasn’t even been paid yet. My heart sinks at the thought of asking Jamie for an advance, again. Shivering, I clamber back into my little old Nissan and drive to work, steering with one hand while attempting to yank the sanitary towel back round to where it belongs with the other. I arrive at Hobnobs almost thirty minutes late and oh, who the arsing head and hole has parked in my space? There is a big sign saying ‘STAFF’, for Christ’s sake. I spend the next ten minutes trying to find a space and eventually have to park so close to a wall that I have to get out on the passenger side. I climb over the seat inelegantly and rip my tights in the process. Jesus, I am getting through tights like nobody’s business, I’d do well to take out shares in Marks and Spencer.
    Once I finally get inside the building I storm past Jane and head towards Jamie’s office, yanking at the sanitary towel.
        ‘Morning… oh Libby…’ calls Jane.
    I wave while struggling with Jamie’s door, applying a hefty kick to the part that always gets stuck.
        ‘Shit. This door drives me mad. Sorry I’m late Jamie, it’s been an eventful few hours. It seems my vibrator almost caused a total power wipe out, and some wanker parked their Range Rover in my space would you believe?’ I say, while fingering the hole in my tights.
        ‘I’m sorry, was that your space? I apologise.’ I recognise the posh voice and my heart sinks.
    I look up and see that I am standing in front of Alex Bryant. Oh, for goodness sake. I feel myself blush. Hot liquid floats into my knickers and I want to die. I must look a tramp. I attempt to straighten everything up and avoid Jamie’s disapproving look.
        ‘Ah, you’re the wanker,’ I say.
        ‘It would seem so.’ He is smiling, and his laughing eyes seem to mock me. ‘And if my memory serves me correctly, don’t vibrators run off batteries?’
    Smart Alec.
        ‘Mine is a turbo-powered one.’
    That puts him in his place. He is annoyingly good looking, I really can’t deny that. Jamie coughs, lowers his eyes to my tights and then looks me in the eye. He looks so young and fresh faced, and I feel old and very weary. He looks at his watch and then back at me.
        ‘Is everything okay?’ he asks, nodding strangely.
    I nod dumbly.
        ‘Okay if we start the meeting?’
    Surely he doesn’t mean with Alex Bryant still here? Before I can reply he clicks the button on his intercom.
        ‘Can we have some coffee please Jane? Thanks.’
    Obviously, he does mean with Alex Bryant still here. Jamie smiles at me, and I relax my shoulders slightly.
        ‘Alex tells me that you and Toby got engaged. Congratulations.’
    Whoops.
        ‘Erm, yeah, thanks.’
    Alex looks closely at me. The sanitary towel is now dangling dangerously outside my knickers. I consider excusing myself and think better of it when Alex the creep pulls a chair out for me. I move slowly towards it and sit down. What the hell is Alex Bryant doing here? Why didn’t Jamie tell me