may, or may not, be
regretted in the morning. I couldn’t tell. Right now they seemed
giddy with happiness but it could be giddy with booze. They’d wake
up tomorrow and realize they’d done the one thing that could happen
in Vegas that didn’t stay in Vegas. And looking at their loopy,
drunken grins, I hoped they didn’t care.
Walker walked me up to the desk that had a
huge display of real wedding bouquets and shelves of boxed confetti
in every color behind it and also behind it was a diminutive woman
with loads of dyed, dark hair ratted out into hairstyle the likes
of which I’d never seen and, not to be mean or anything, I hoped
I’d never see again. She also was sporting an excess of bulky
rhinestones which adorned her at ears, neck, wrists and fingers and
so much makeup it was unreal. It wasn’t a look I’d choose but she
worked it, except the hairstyle.
“Love is in the air!” she cried when we
stopped at the tall counter that was topped with glass under which
were photos of happy couples, the bride and groom sandwiching a
smiling-like-a-lunatic Liberace sporting an enormous, lilac-hued
pompadour, these pictures intermingling with printed menus of
wedding packages. “We’ve got a wait of about half an hour, a bit
more. I hope that isn’t a problem,” she went on.
“Nope,” Walker replied.
“Excellent,” she breathed, clasping her
hands in front of her then she took us both in. “What’ll it be?
Menu’s on the counter. We got a basic version then add-ons or you
could go with the deluxe package. And, I tell all my lovebirds,
whatever you do, go for the bubble machine even if it’s just as an
add-on. Nothing says joy like bubbles,” she advised and I pressed
my lips together to stop from giggling but even though I thought
she was funny, I couldn’t exactly argue with the fact that nothing
said joy like bubbles, I’d just never thought of bubbles like that.
She looked behind us then at us. “You need witnesses?”
“Yep,” Walker answered.
She leaned in. “We throw that in,
freebie.”
Walker just stared at her.
“That’s great,” I said.
“Basic,” Walker said and her smiling, love
is in the air eyes went up to him and her face fell a little.
“Oh,” she whispered.
“Cash,” he added.
She gave him a top-to-waist and muttered,
“Right.” Then she moved to the cash register.
My eyes moved to the bouquets.
After Walker told me what I needed to know
for now and gave me thousands of dollars to make it so, I’d braved
the Vegas heat and gone shopping. I was exhausted. I wanted a
shower and a nap but he was intent on getting this done and I
figured, if we did it then it would be over, I wouldn’t have a mind
filled with whether or not I’d made the right decision or kicking
myself for getting played by Shift rather than upping stakes and
getting the fuck out of Dallas about thirty seconds after we laid
Ronnie in the ground.
And as I tried on dress after dress trying
to find one to get married in, I thought about the men in my life
(by the way, the first dress I’d been instructed to get I’d found
right away – a wedding dress, not so easy and, incidentally, I’d
done a detour from Walker’s instructions in order to buy a bikini,
a hopeful effort that I might eventually get to veg beside a pool
where every girl knows she can let the sun bake away her life,
however crazy it is, and I needed that for certain).
In thinking about the men in my life, I
started at the beginning and counted them down.
First, there was my grandfather. A decent
enough guy if you didn’t know him. Not so decent if you did. Total
shit at being a Dad. This was evidenced by the fact that my mother
was a mess. He hadn’t learned any lessons from what went bad with
her before taking me on. This was because, first, he didn’t want to
learn and second, he was the kind of man who always thought he was
right so he didn’t think there was anything to learn and my Mom flying off the rails