Complete Abandon
breath to get into bed and unleash some pent up desires, too.
    When had she become “that woman,” the one who wasn’t interested? Every sex toy you could imagine had once lived in her bedside table, and her rich inner fantasy world had created sex positions that just plain old defied the laws of physics. She, Mike and Dylan had collectively explored about half of those—and now...nothing. She was happy to please them, but not really interested in being pleased.
    Why? What had changed?
    Within five minutes, Mike was pulling in to a small driveway at the edge of the ski resort. “What’s this?” she asked, curious. “I thought we were going in to the city for the night.”
    “It’s a surprise,” he said in a low, suggestive voice. As the road narrowed, the brown leaves clinging to trees that should have released their burden by now, large pines appeared, tall and foreboding.
    And then—a tiny cabin, the size of a turret, with a winding staircase around the outside. Made of unfinished timber, it looked like a fairy cottage, delicate and sturdy all at once, like a handcrafted home out of a fantasy movie.
    “What is this?” she marveled. The cabin was two stories, but small. A wall of glass faced south, and she could see a small deck near what appeared to be the front door. On the deck sat a wooden hot tub, like something you’d see in Finland.
    “A new property for the resort. We’re testing out little eco-cabins, to see if we can encourage ski tourism.”
    The Jeep came to a halt and they piled out.
    “And this is where we’re staying? Boy, this sure is remote,” she said, intrigued. The driveway was a good eighth of a mile, and as she scanned the full circle of the site, there wasn’t any sign of civilization as far as she could see. The cabin itself almost seemed to have sprung up out of nature, Laura’s view took in the timber steps, made from solid logs cut to fit, and the solar panels on the roof.
    “Solar?”
    “I said it was an eco-cabin,” Mike reminded her. “We have electricity, running water, and a grey water recycling system.”
    “Is there a bathroom?”
    “Yep. No worries. It has all the luxuries!” he assured her. A deck light glowed and she realized how close to winter they were. It was just barely 4pm and already dusk was settling in. They had to be back at 10am tomorrow. An image of Jillian hit her, how soft her skin was, how her chubby fists felt in Laura’s hair.
    “We have everything we could possibly need,” Dylan added, a bit cryptically, hefting some luggage in each hand. Mike grabbed a bag as well, his other hand reaching into his front pocket. Watching him fumble and dig for the keys, Laura saw ample evidence of just how excited Mike was for this night. The two men emptied the Jeep in two trips. Laura hung back as they finished unloading, joining Mike on the front deck when they were done; Dylan remained inside. Mike’s arm slid about her waist, confirming what his jeans had already hinted: this night was planned as a sexfest.
    Mike gave her a look of warmth, love and teasing that made her toes tingle and—for one lovely, fleeting second—she felt transformed. All her worries and insecurities disappeared as if desiccated and blown away on the wind, carried off like dust she needn’t ever worry about. The thought of making love with him made her body rev up reflexively…
     But her mind quickly ground to a screeching halt. Sex was the last thing she wanted to want. As if dragging her limbs through concrete, she moved toward him, a sense of dread and angst filling her. She wasn’t supposed to feel like this! Making love was what she was supposed to want, right? Stalling for time, she pretended she was still admiring the cabin. She noted there were no curtains on any windows, and why would they need them?
    They were completely isolated. Only a deer or a fox would see them if they walked around nude.
    Poor deer. Wouldn’t want to see me naked, either , she thought, and

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