Complete Works, Volume III by Harold Pinter Read Free Book Online Page A

know his gearbox from his arse!
    SAM . You go and ask my customers! I'm the only one they ever ask for.
    MAX . What do the other drivers do, sleep all day?
    SAM . I can only drive one car. They can't all have me at the same time.
    MAX . Anyone could have you at the same time. You'd bend over for half a dollar on Blackfriars Bridge.
    SAM . Me!
    MAX . For two bob and a toffee apple.
    SAM . He's insulting me. He's insulting his brother. I’m driving a man to Hampton Court at four forty-five.
    MAX . Do you want to know who could drive? MacGregor! MacGregor was a driver.
    SAM . Don't you believe it.
    MAX points his stick at SAM .
    MAX . He didn't even fight in the war. This man didn't even fight in the bloody war!
    SAM . I did!
    MAX . Who did you kill?
    Silence.
    SAM gets up, goes to RUTH, shakes her hand and goes out of the front door.
    MAX turns to TEDDY.
    Well, how you been keeping, son?
    TEDDY . I've been keeping very well, Dad.
    MAX . It's nice to have you with us, son.
    TEDDY . It's nice to be back, Dad.
    Pause.
    MAX . You should have told me you were married, Teddy. I'd have sent you a present. Where was the wedding, in America?
    TEDDY . No, here. The day before we left.
    MAX . Did you have a big function?
    TEDDY . No, there was no-one there.
    MAX . You're mad. I'd have given you a white wedding. We'd have had the cream of the cream here. I'd have been only too glad to bear the expense, my word of honour.
    Pause.
    TEDDY . You were busy at the time. I didn't want to bother you.
    MAX . But you're my own flesh and blood. You're my first born. I'd have dropped everything. Sam would have driven you to the reception in the Snipe, Lenny would have been your best man, and then we'd have all seen you off on the boat. I mean, you don't think I disapprove of marriage, do you? Don't be daft. ( To RUTH .) I've been begging my two youngsters for years to find a nice feminine girl with proper credentials – it makes life worth living. ( To TEDDY .) Anyway, what's the difference, you did it, you made a wonderful choice, you've got a wonderful family, a marvellous career . . . so why don't we let bygones by bygones?
    Pause.
    You know what I'm saying? I want you both to know that you have my blessing.
    TEDDY . Thank you.
    MAX . Don't mention it. How many other houses in the district have got a Doctor of Philosophy sitting down drinking a cup of coffee?
    Pause.
    RUTH . I'm sure Teddy's very happy . . . to know that you're pleased with me.
    Pause.
    I think he wondered whether you would be pleased with me.
    MAX . But you're a charming woman.
    Pause.
    RUTH . I was . . .
    MAX . What?
    Pause.
    What she say?
    They all look at her.
    RUTH . I was . . . different . . . when I met Teddy . . . first.
    TEDDY . No you weren't. You were the same.
    RUTH . I wasn't.
    MAX . Who cares? Listen, live in the present, what are you worrying about? I mean, don't forget the earth's about five thousand million years old, at least. Who can afford to live in the past?
    Pause.
    TEDDY . She's a great help to me over there. She's a wonderful wife and mother. She's a very popular woman. She's got lots of friends. It's a great life, at the University . . . you know . . . it's a very good life. We've got a lovely house . . . we've got all . . . we've got everything we want. It's a very stimulating environment.
    Pause.
    My department . . . is highly successful.
    Pause.
    We've got three boys, you know.
    MAX . All boys? Isn't that funny, eh? You've got three, I've got three. You've got three nephews, Joey. Joey! You're an uncle, do you hear? You could teach them how to box.
    Pause.
    JOEY ( to RUTH ). I'm a boxer. In the evenings, after work. I'm in demolition in the daytime.
    RUTH . Oh?
    JOEY . Yes. I hope to be full time, when I get more bouts.
    MAX ( to LENNY ). He speaks so easily to his sister-in-law, do you notice? That's because she's an intelligent and sympathetic woman.
    He leans to her.
    Eh, tell me, do you think the children are missing their mother?
    She looks at