“Maybe I need to work on being more confident in your feelings for me. I shouldn’t be so hung up on whether or not I’m able to handle loving and losing someone again. I’ve been so out of whack that I forgot how much joy you’ve brought into my life. I do want to be happy, Jack, and I want to be happy with you. I’m sorry it had to take me getting hurt in order to figure it out.”
“You scared the shit out of me today. You know that, right?”
“Believe me, sitting on a cold floor bleeding all over my bestie wasn’t my idea of a party.”
“That’s not even remotely funny,” Jack scolded. “I’m very torn between trying not to dwell on what happened and what I would have done if you’d been more seriously injured to being in absolute awe of the courage and strength it must have taken for you to have done what you did.”
Maybe he was a little more traumatized than he cared to admit. They’d have to deal with that later. “I reacted. It was a reflex. That’s all.”
“It’s more than that. You might not see it, but I can guarantee everyone else does.”
She blushed. “Jack, really. First the nurse and now you. Can we lay off the adulation for a while? It happened. And now it’s over. We can move on.”
“I don’t want to move on. I don’t want to forget how I felt when I was sitting in that waiting room and praying for you in the chapel. I don’t ever want to get that close to losing you ever again. I love you, Caroline.”
“I love you too,” she said, doing her best to squeeze his hand.
“You are my heart, my soul, my treasure,” Jack said. “You and your daughters are my primary concern. I want to readjust my priorities. I want to make a permanent commitment.”
Caroline knew where he was going. She knew what a logical, rational woman would feel at the idea of risking her heart again. At the prospect of losing another husband. At the ridiculous notion that they would consider marriage after only a few months of knowing one another. But she felt oddly calm. “That sounds like some sort of proposal,” she said.
“Do you want it to be?”
“It’s not even the slightest bit romantic. You act almost as if it’s a business transaction. Except that treasure thing, that was pretty decent.”
He laughed. “Would you like me to rephrase the question? I’ve never done this before, you know.”
“I know. And might I also add, I think you’re crazy for asking.”
“Are you saying no?”
“I am not saying no. I think it’s a phenomenal idea. Although we both may be insane for considering it.”
“Maybe that’s why we belong together.”
She smiled. “Maybe. I do think you should ask my children for their permission first. I’m traditional like that.”
Jack tilted his head. “Is this some sort of tradition that I’ve never heard of before?”
“I just made it up right now.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s the complete opposite of tradition.”
“Details, details.” Caroline was getting a little punchy. The morphine was starting to do its job.
Jack smiled at her. “How are those painkillers working out for you?”
“Very nicely, thank you.”
“Fine with me,” he said. “Your tradition gives me a chance to get you some jewelry to go along with said business transaction. As collateral, you understand.”
“Absolutely. I’m a big fan of the Uniform Commercial Code.” Caroline squeezed Jack’s hand again. “We’ll talk to the girls. I’m warning you, if you get me a ring both of them may want a pony. Especially Sophie.”
Jack laughed and kissed her on the lips. “Fortunately for you, I know a guy.”
Chapter Five
The Past
They talked for hours that night. About Caroline’s fear of remarriage, about Jack’s reluctance to run for governor, about how they needed to learn to communicate better. A fruitful discussion, though Caroline still had her reservations about walking down the aisle again. They turned to less intensive topics. How much Jack
The 12 NAs of Christmas, Chelsea M. Cameron