Contours of Darkness by Marco Vassi Read Free Book Online Page A

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    The young man blushed, but he did not turn away from Cynthia's smile of warm amusement. She was regal in her regard, openly holding the power, the choice of saying yes or no at any time to Conrad's desire, and aware that if she admitted him into her, she would be agreeing to an opening of herself which would make her into someone very different than she now was. The glove was now thrown down between Conrad and her, and she understood that she could not take refuge in the fact of being a woman; the challenge to wrestle with herself by encountering him matched the one which had been offered to Aaron.
    'He's really a revolutionary,' she thought. 'He is dedicated to change.' The idea of becoming lovers with him struck her as overwhelmingly attractive. Since their first casual contact as neighbours she had grown closer to him in a slow circular pleasant way, and now realised that she trusted him. He was able to bring out the most daring aspects of her without ever threatening or judging. And he was always straightforward about what he wanted.
    Aaron saw in a stroke all the possible combinations in which Conrad and Cynthia could make love. He accepted that she could have a relationship with the youth that would rival, if not surpass, what she had with him. It was clear that it was his duty not to interfere with what she was having from Conrad. But his ability to swing free from jealousy when the situation was still in seed form had not stood the test of Cynthia's actual taking up with another man. He did not know whether he could withstand the experience without acting badly. And he could not conceive of humbling himself before the others; he was sure that Conrad would pity him and Cynthia would despise him, a combination his ego would not survive.
    He felt a hand on his arm. 'I'm not cutting you out,' said Conrad, 'I'm dealing you into a different game. That's all. And you'll be confused, and you won't know what's happening, but that's only because it's new territory. And I've been to places that are just as fantastic as anything you can get to. We're both the same kind of thing. And I'll just keep reminding you that the panic you feel about to break loose is just the energy of the animal that's been penned up, whipped, caged, ever since you were born, ever since civilisation began. It's just the man in you wanting to come out all the way, and being afraid, because of all the voices whispering inside you, and all the policemen walking around outside you.'
    'You're hypnotising me,' said Aaron.
    'Just like the Sphinx,' said Conrad. 'Maybe you can explain to yourself what happened after you stayed in front of that thing, but you haven't come to terms with why you stayed in the first place, what its power was.' He squeezed Aaron's arm. 'I'm not out to hurt you, man,' he said. 'I just want to fuck your old lady, and I don't want it to be a bum scene. So I want us to get straight with each other. That's all.'
    'Will you two fuck tonight?' Aaron asked, his voice ragged.
    'Just with our minds,' Conrad replied. 'We won't do a cock and cunt scene until it's cool with you.'
    'And what if it never gets cool with me?' said Aaron, suddenly feeling anger.
    'That's your choice, isn't it?' Conrad answered.
    'And what about you? Do you want to fuck him?' Aaron turned on Cynthia.
    She closed her eyes. After such a long time, the simple honesty of saying and hearing words that were not being used as evasive tactics was ravishing her soul. She had no alternative but to speak the truth. 'We're heading for a dead-end,' she said. Her voice came out as very old and very wise. 'We have to admit it. We've been trying to shovel ourselves into a comfortable grave. And I don't know what it is about Conrad. He excites me and frightens me, sometimes he disgusts me. But he makes me feel alive, so very much alive. And I'm beginning to think I really don't care about anything else except that feeling.'
    'And you don't get that from me?' Aaron