Courtly Love by Lynn M. Bartlett Read Free Book Online Page B

lady of . . . some consequence, married to a man who preferred fighting in Normandy over tending his estates in England. If you don't mind, I will spare you all the details. When the lady found she was with child, she was angry and bitter, threatening to kill herself rather than have the incident known, and . . . other alternatives. I finally persuaded her to retire to a convent and there bear my child. It was agreed that I would raise the child and no one need ever know." Gyles's eyes suddenly turned a muted, cloudy green. "When Alan was born, she wouldn't even look at him or touch him. She treated him as if he were the devil's child or carried the plague! To her Alan was something loathsome, vile, beneath her contempt—certainly not deserving of any affection from her. Do you wonder that I thought it best to tell him his mother was dead rather than the truth?"
    Serena said nothing as she collected her seeds and book, then returned to her husband's side. She tilted her head back in order to gaze directly into Gyles's eyes. "I believe you did the right thing, m'lord. The boy had no part in his conception nor did he have a choice in selecting his father or mother, yet he is the one who will have to bear the taunting words and cruel jests of others. 'Tis kind of you to spare him that pain for as long as possible, yet there will come a day when Alan will have to be told."
    Gyles nodded silently, for he knew that day was fast approaching, and he was not sure what words he would use to crumble Alan's world. Some of Gyles's inner turmoil must have showed on his normally impassive features, for Serena, her eyes still watching him intently, gave him a gentle smile.
    "You have loved and protected Alan for this long, mlord, when the time comes he will remember that. He will not turn from you when he learns the truth."
    "What I have done, I did because I sired him and because of that I am responsible for him. Nothing more," Gyles said gruffly.
    "Does love frighten you so much that you must use other words in its place? Love is a strength, m'lord, not a weakness."
    "Love is for fools!" Gyles sneered. "Have you no further questions, Serena? Does not your inquiring woman's mind long to know who Alan's mother is so you can add more gossip for Lydia and Mara to spread?"
    Serena's smile faded, but her reply was soft and without malice. "That is of no importance to me, m'lord. Why should it be?" Defeated, Gyles could find no answer as he stared down into her eyes and saw a smile curve her lips once again. "Then you have no objections to my being Alan's friend?" Gyles shook his head, completely bemused at the softness his son had brought out in his wife—she who was more than able to match Gyles's own anger when she chose.
    At odds with himself and Serena, Gyles raised her chin a trifle higher with his finger. "You have my leave to retire to the castle, Lady Serena."
    Serena dipped into a swift curtsy, but when she rose her eyes mocked him. "Thank you, m'lord."
    * * *
    Serena gave her hair a final pat and walked toward the stairs. She detested mealtimes because they forced the antagonists of the household into direct confrontation. She would have preferred to take her meals in her room, but she refused to give Beda or Gyles the satisfaction of knowing that these gatherings brought her nerves to the breaking point. A tug on the back of her skirt brought Serena up short, and she turned to see Alan watching her solemnly.
    "Why aren't you at the table, Alan? I'm sure the meal has already started."
    "Father didn't say I could. Will you take me with you?"
    Serena considered him for a moment. "Did you eat in the hall before I came, Alan?" He nodded, and Serena sighed inwardly. How many restrictions had been placed on Alan because of her? "Come along then. From now on you and I shall dine together."
    Happily, Alan grasped Serena's hand and nearly skipped along beside her through the corridor and down the steps. When they entered the great hall, all