Covenant by Maria Rachel Hooley Read Free Book Online Page A

consider sojourning any time soon
if you know what is good for you.”
    I feel myself bristle. “Are
you implying that I don’t have a clue how to do my job?”
Frustrated, I surge toward her, trying to understand just what her
game might be.
    “ Oh, you’re perfectly
acceptable at your job, according to certain standards. You are so
much better at working with the dead than with the living; the dead
don’t try to argue semantics. They don’t try to make you understand
when you’ve done things wrong, things you already know.” The air
stirs around her and fans her hair into her face.
    Once more about my faults
and how glaring they really are. I look
away. “Perhaps you should leave,” I mutter, hoping she will
actually consider it and spare me this conversation.
    “ Why? I thought you could
handle anything.” She folds her arms across her chest and waits for
me to say something. “Don’t you have anything to say?”
    “ Somehow I doubt you’ll
listen to anything unless it’s what you want to hear.”
    She laughs. “Even without
your memory, you’re still you, Lev. You haven’t changed. More’s the
pity for that.” She turns.
    “ And what is that supposed
to mean?” I call after her, infuriated.
    She jerks around. “The only
things you leave behind are confused souls and broken angels, Lev.
That’s all you’ve ever left behind.” She gives me one last glare before stalking
away and leaving me in emptiness.
    Did I do that with
Elizabeth? Is it really my fault that she seems so broken? That question weighs me down until I can’t take
it anymore. I fold my arms across my chest and try not to think so
much about it, but it refuses to leave me.
    I walk to the ocean and
kneel so I can dip my hands in the wetness and stare into the
blackness spread below, feeling more lost now than ever. The chaos
swirls deeply within me until I am swimming in it. The environment
seems to mimic what I feel as lightning lances the clouds,
exploding in bursts of violent light. I smell the rain coming, and
that’s when I let myself dive, my body soaring through the water
until I come to heaven’s underbelly. I feel myself push through the
clouds, and once I fall below them toward the Lower Realm, rain
spatters my form—cold, stinging rain. I know that I can stop it
from touching me, but I don’t. I let the cold soak through me,
preferring it to the emptiness I face or the chaos that wants to
take over.
    I throw my arms out, and my
wings burst wide. The sudden shift from falling to flight sends my
body soaring in a different direction. I shut my eyes and think of
Elizabeth Moon’s face. The wall is there, as usual: Evan’s gift. No
doubt, he sees it as necessary, but I do not. I reach for a memory
with her, anything that will guide my flight. Lightning sears the
sky, branching in two different directions just above. I feel the
electrical pulse of the discharge, and the current seems to swirl
around me, mimicking the distortions within.
    What have I done to her? At
one time, I would have believed I bore no responsibility, but I
sense my own failings as surely as I feel the rain.
    The spattering of drops
suddenly breaks in a deluge, and I let the sky pour around me. Even
with my eyes closed, I sense the brilliance of lightning
transforming the sky, and I squint even harder, seeking the
memory. Where are you? I think of Elizabeth’s face, her eyes—these are things Evan
can’t blot away; they are burned into memory.
    The blackness suddenly
lifts, revealing a house—her house. I focus on it, seeking some way
to find it—a landmark to orient myself in flight, but there isn’t
anything I recognize. For a moment, I open my eyes, struggling with
the knowledge I have come so far only to falter now, but I must not
give up.
    I shiver in the cold rain
contrasting with the summer air, and I feel the chaos that once
only stirred in me now shifting around me. I cannot contain it. I
don’t know what that means to the other angels