Crazy Beautiful Love by J.S. Cooper Read Free Book Online Page B

that he was sitting on the couch wide-eyed and
staring, as if in a trance.
    “Dad?” I walked
into the room hesitantly. “You okay?”
    “Just getting
ready for the day.” He looked up at me, but I couldn’t tell if his eyes were
really focused.
    “You want me to
help you up to your room?”
    “I was just
watching TV.” He blinked at me and rubbed his eyes. “There was a lady that
looked like your mom.”
    “Oh?”
    “Yeah, same blond
hair.” He stared at me. “You’re the only one who looks like her.”
    “I know. People always
wonder if I’m really Vinny and Jared’s brother,” I
joked about their dark hair and features. They took after my dad.
    “She had such long
blonde hair,” he continued. “She was the love of my life.”
    “And you were
hers.” I gave him a wide smile. I knew the routine by now. We’d had this
conversation hundreds of times since she had died.
    “I failed her.” He
shook his head. “She should still be here.”
    “I know.”
    “They fucking
killed her.”
    “I know.” I sighed
and rubbed my eyes, wanting to go back to sleep.
    “Have you ever
been in love, son?” His words sounded coherent and lucid and I looked up and
saw the very real question in his eyes.
    “No.” I shook my head.
Love was for fools. I was many things, but I wasn’t a fool.
    “I never wanted to
fall in love,” he laughed. “It just kinda hit me,
like a deer in the night. Your mother was the most beautiful girl I had ever
seen, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about her.”
    “And she couldn’t
stop thinking about you.”
    “No.” He shook his
head. “She couldn’t. She loved me when she shouldn’t have. But she couldn’t
help herself.”
    “Yeah, some women
are crazy.” I shook my head, and an image of Maddie crossed my mind. “Some women
are mad.” I laughed at my joke, and looked up to see my father staring at me
curiously.
    “You’ve met
someone?” He leaned forward and a beer can fell to the ground. I watched in
dismay as the liquid seeped into the already-dirty, tattered, stained brown carpet.
    “No.” I shook my
head vehemently.
    “You’ve met
someone.” He laughed and sat back, his beer belly showing as his T-shirt rode
up. “Who is she?”
    “No one,” I
answered quickly, my heart beating fast. I was scared that he would figure it
out. That somehow he would be able to read my mind and know.
    “Must be someone
special.”
    “She’s not special,”
I retorted and then realized my mistake. “There’s no one.”
    He peered up at me
and gave me a sweet smile, a smile that almost reminded me of the man he had
been when I was a child. The man my mother had fallen in love with had been a
fun, handsome, wonderful man. And then the smile turned into a bitter look and
he pointed at me. “You better not fuck around and let this chick take your mind
off of what’s important.”
    “There is no
chick.” I stepped back, not wanting to get into it tonight.
    “I told you, women ain’t shit. You got a family to take care of. Me and
your brothers need you.”
    “I know.”
    “Go and get me
another beer.”
    “It’s late.”
    “Who you talking
to like that?” He made to get up, and as I stared at his slovenly body, a
shudder of distaste ran through me. How I hated this man who was supposed to be
my father. It didn’t matter that there were moments of sorrow and sympathy and
that there were glimpses of the man he used to be. All he was now was a sorry
old drunk. I just wanted to walk out the door and never come back. How I hated
this place, this town, this house, my life. But it was all I knew. And all I
could do, or try to do, was help Vincent and Jared achieve their dreams so they
weren’t stuck in this shithole forever, like I was.
    “I’m going out.” I
looked at my father, who had fallen back against the couch, and I walked to the
kitchen quickly and grabbed the keys to the Corolla. It wasn’t smart for me to
take this car. It had likely been reported as