him.
"Abigail Tuney? Someone's come for you,"
the cop says through the little barred window. "You're being
released."
I stand, pushing the chair away and turning towards
the door as it swings open. I wonder if I should say goodbye to
Sarah, but she's still deep in sleep, and I don't want to disturb
her.
My hair's a mess, my muscles all ache, my makeup must
be completely smeared or gone and I feel like a mess.
But when I see Kaiden's face?
He looks proud.
And I've never been so happy to see him in my life.
It's been a few days, and things have kind of
returned to normal.
Well, I say returned to normal, but Kaiden and I
haven't spoken since I got off his bike and went back into the house.
I don't know what to say to him, either. I just keep thinking about
what he told me...
What I had realized about how I felt.
It reminds me of the time I fell out of the boat. The
way he looked at me like he was just seconds from kissing me, and
then went suddenly cold out of nowhere. He didn’t speak to me
for so long I thought I’d done something wrong.
But this time, I’m just as angry at him as I am
at myself. Angry at how much I still want him.
He hasn't brought any other women home, either. He’s
just been locked up in his bedroom by himself, barely eating, though
he helped me get my car back from impound at least. Even at work,
he's been avoiding me, and part of me is happy for the space.
But a huge part of me is upset that he's avoiding me.
I know I started it, but I just want... something more than this.
It's dumb, I know that. But I don't care. If he
really feels that way for me, he should do something about it. But of
course he won’t. I know I won't. It's too risky.
Even if we weren't siblings, just getting closer to
him would give Ryder more ammo.
I’m grateful that I have today off. My first
day off in seventeen days, and I'm feeling pretty good about it all,
other than the fact that apparently Kaiden took the night off too.
I can hear him in his room, the TV on low, but it
doesn't matter. The walls are so thin I can still make out every
word.
Sounds like he's watching some biker show, random
shootouts happening every once in a while and a whole lot of yelling
and fighting.
I listen to it for a while, letting my mind drift
back to when I was sixteen or so.
I was at home, watching a movie on TV. I was all
alone, had the house to myself, so it must've been summer.
It was some crime drama or something, and I
remember getting really into it when suddenly someone had their hands
over my eyes. I screamed bloody murder, jumped out of my skin.
And instantly, Kaiden apologized.
Big, hulking Kaiden came around in front of me,
looking so upset that he’d scared me. He came home for a visit,
and just wanted to surprise me. I had leapt up, into his arms, and
he'd spun me around like I was nothing more than a feather, and we
spent the rest of the day cuddled up on the couch just talking about
nothing.
A lump formed in my throat. I wanted so bad to get
back to that, to just forget all this had ever happened.
To forget that mom and dad had died, that my college
money was spent on Kaiden's bail, that I had to live with him and
work in a sleazy bar.
Kaiden's TV shuts off, and it must be around four in
the morning; we are both pretty much nocturnal now. I hear him
shifting, getting comfortable beneath the blankets.
I picture him lying there, one arm strewn over his
forehead as he stares up at the ceiling, bare-chested as the sheets
gather around his waist. It's still warm out and we don't have air
conditioning, so I imagine his leg strewn over the blankets, barely
clinging to modesty as he closes his eyes.
And then I tap, softly, on the wall.
It is barely more than a touch of my knuckle to the
drywall, but I know he heard it.
He simply doesn't respond.
"Kaiden, you remember that time when I was
fourteen, and I was supposed to have that birthday party? It was
going to be princess-themed, remember? Mom bought all