looking at Delilah, but addresses the rest of us morons. “Would you like to tell everyone, or should I?” she asks mischievously.
Nick lets out a laugh then takes a sip of beer. “She’s got your number, Doll. Might as well share.”
Delilah leans in and gives Nick a kiss then turns to us. “You may or may not have to push your wedding reception back a few more months…”
“I knew it!” Charlie yells then runs – okay, maybe waddles - over to Delilah and tackles – okay, maybe falls on top of – Nick and Delilah then starts kissing her all over her face.
She then leans back and smacks Delilah on the arm. “When were you going to tell me, bitch? How far along are you? When did you find out? Are you drinking a screwdriver?” she starts rapidly firing questions as she attempts to push herself up, but she is unable to, so Calvin and I leap out of our seats to help her up and back to her place on the sofa.
Meanwhile, I hear Chance snickering in the background. His first experience with my friends, and boy did we give him a show. Then again, anything’s better than my family; that’s one place I will never take him. Doesn’t matter anyway because after this week, I will be nice and civil, but we will not be hanging out socially anymore.
Once everyone settles back down, Delilah fills us in on all of the details. Apparently, she will be twelve weeks next week, ending her first trimester. She is also, by the way, just drinking orange juice. We all just assumed it was a screwdriver. I guess it kind of is, minus the vodka.
“Do you know the sex?” Chance asks.
“No, you can’t find that out until about twenty weeks,” Delilah answers.
“Oh, okay. Charlie, do you know the sex of your baby?”
“Babies,” Calvin answers for her.
“Well, shit. I had no idea. Congrats, man. You, too, Charlie. I did think she was kinda big, but...damn.” Chance shakes his head. “You’re gonna have your hands full,” he adds.
“Tell me about it,” Calvin agrees. “But my boys will keep me in shape. Calvin IV and Calvin V,” he announces while rubbing Charlie’s huge belly.
“Like George?” Chance asks out of the blue.
Nick raises his beer in cheers. “Yeah, man,” he agrees with Chance even though nobody else has a clue what he is talking about. I am starting to feel like every conversation is in code and I don’t have the key to crack it. I mean, I know I am drinking, but I am not stupid drunk.
“Huh? What are you two talking about?” Delilah asks in confusion, pretty much for all of us.
“George Foreman,” Chance explains. Well not really.
Calvin lets out a laugh, apparently now “in” on the joke. “Yeah, like George,” he adds.
Charlie starts getting frustrated. “Will someone please explain to the rest of us what you guys are talking about before I start throwing shit? Don’t make me take my shoes off!” she roars, yet unable to hide her smile.
“Calm down, baby. Watch your blood pressure,” Calvin soothes. “George Foreman has five sons named George and a daughter named Georgetta.”
“Hell to the no!” Delilah and Charlie both shout at the same time.
I try to steer the conversation back to Chance’s original question. “You’re having boys?” I ask incredulously, since nobody bothered to tell me this interesting piece of information.
“Uh, no, no, and no!” Charlie interjects. She answers my first question by letting everyone know that they don’t know the sex of the babies, they want it to be a surprise. Then she tells Calvin that in no way or fashion will all of her children be named Calvin.
They get into a somewhat heated discussion that none of us can really hear. Then Charlie climbs on to Calvin’s lap, straddling him. They keep on arguing, and even though I can only minimally make out what is being said, I can’t stop watching. Like a goddamned train wreck. Look away. Look away. You don’t want to see what happens next.
I hear Charlie
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