Crossings by Stef Ann Holm Read Free Book Online Page B

evident even through the starched layers of her underclothes. His unyielding touch elicited a tingle deep inside her that pulsated outward until it reached her every nerve ending. She rarely lost her composure, but she found she couldn’t move. If Carrigan hadn’t finally slid her over his lap and propped her on the seat next to him, she would have remained there dumbfounded.
    She felt his gaze on her, but she couldn’t look him in the eye. When at last he slapped the horses’ rumps and they were off, she breathed a sigh of relief. Needing to blot out the incident, she closed her eyes and fought off making an inevitable comparison. It had been Kurt who first made her heart dance with excitement. Who first made her senses spin when he was near. He’d been dead for nearly four years, yet there were still times when he stole into her thoughts, and she couldn’t help imagining what could have been. Everything changed the year she turned seventeen. There was no going back. Her future was based on a foundation of the past. Love would forever be unattainable for her, and so would a devoted husband.
    Carrigan’s ability to kindle something within her had her pensively staring at the endless gray scrub. It had to be his blatant masculinity that dazzled her. Everything about him spoke glaringly of his strength, from the way he held a pair of reins in his broad hands, to his indomitable walk.
    As Van Sickle’s station with its five barns came into sight, Helena felt a confounding urgency to knowmore about Carrigan. A kind of panic set in as the reality of what she was about to do hit her full force. She was going to wed herself to a man she didn’t know beyond what rumor dictated. Just thinking of it nearly shattered her.
    â€œI need to know what your full Christian name is,” she said with deceptive calm. “Mr. Van Sickle is going to ask.”
    â€œJacob Henry Carrigan.”
    â€œWhere were you born and raised?”
    â€œRed Springs near the Yellowstone River.”
    â€œDo you have any family?”
    â€œMother and sister.”
    â€œYour father?”
    â€œDead.”
    â€œJust like mine,” she said softly, wondering about the circumstances of Carrigan’s loss, but not pushing that far. “What made you come to Genoa?”
    This time she got a reaction out of him. “You don’t question my past, and I won’t question yours.” Steering the horses up to the front of a large, two-story frame house, Carrigan added without inflection, “It’s the present that counts anyway. I could be wanted by the law elsewhere, but you shouldn’t hold it against me so long as I’m showing a willingness to walk a straight path now.”
    She swallowed hard. “Are you wanted by the law?”
    â€œNo,” he answered in a clipped voice that forbade any further questions.
    But Helena wasn’t ready to quit. She had to ask one more to lay the hearsay to rest. “Have you ever killed a man?”
    His eyes grew contemplative, then he gave her a long, steady look that robbed her of her wits. “Too many to count.”
    *  *  *
    â€œYou married him,” Emilie blurted, staring at the gold band on Helena’s finger. “Lena, I can’t believe you went through with it.”
    â€œI had no choice.” Helena unhitched Daisy from the buckboard and walked her to the stables.
    Emilie was on her heels. “Of course you had a choice. You could have given up the station.”
    â€œNo, I couldn’t.”
    Helena passed through the wide wooden doors. The building’s interior was dim and smelled of hay, grain, and livestock. Dust motes swirled down from the high ceiling, stirred by the owls that used the rafters to roost. Horses nickered upon her entrance as she led Daisy to the stall next to Lucy’s.
    â€œYou keep saying you’re doing all this because it’s what Father would have