Dark Winter by Andy McNab Read Free Book Online Page A

of hers, man.’
    I pulled down the visor to shade me from the glare. ‘I didn’t abandon her, she knows that. She knows we thought it was the best thing for her to come live with you.’ I knew I was sounding defensive.
    ‘You gotta take a look at it from where she stands. No matter how much love our home is giving her, it’s gotta be tough.’ He leant forward over the wheel to stretch his back. ‘She alienates people, you know she does. It’s her way of coping, Nick. She withdraws from us before we have a chance to do it to her. She’s insulating herself. We’ve got to make sure she learns how to cope another way. A good way.’
    ‘You’ve been watching too much Dr Phil, mate.’
    He ignored me again. ‘We all have ways of handling stuff, OK? Me, I’ve got a devout belief in the Lord, I know that He loves me. You would, too, if only you’d let Him in. Let anybody in, come to think of it.’ He pointed a finger while trying not to cut up a truck. ‘You, you’re Mr Distractive – when things get a little too hot for you, you try to head off somewhere different, get busy, get funny, anything to get away. That Dr Phil gag, you’re still doing it – what you call it, cutting away? Yeah, you’re still cutting away, huh?’ He turned towards me and I took over looking out of the windscreen. ‘You know why you never look me in the eye, you never look at my face? It’s because you feel guilty, so you just do your little thing, you cut away.’
    I wasn’t cutting away, I was completely blanking out. ‘Load of bollocks.’
    His head shook slowly from side to side. A road sign announced we were entering Virginia. ‘The way it looks to me, she’s doing exactly what you do, cutting away, keeping a lid on things. She just can’t bear to let her feelings out – she’s scared of what might happen. She’s scared it might be like leaving the gate open in the zoo, so the lions and the elephants escape, know what I’m saying?’
    I shrugged a ‘maybe’.
    ‘Man, I know you were doing your best for her, I know there were outrageous circumstances, but what goes through her head at night? What does she dream about? It may be too late for you, but we gotta help her take the lid off. But, like, real slow.’ We came off the highway, taking the ramp right and following signs for Tyson’s Corner. ‘It’s going to take a long time, know what I’m saying? But we’ll get there with her in the end.’
    ‘You reckon?’ Sometimes I admired his unshakeable Christian certainty, but just as often it tipped me over the edge. ‘You had a word with God then, have you?’
    It was a cheap shot, and we both knew it. His face looked very sad all of a sudden. I must have been a constant disappointment to him. ‘No, Nick, I’ve told God we are going to sort this one out for Him. Or, rather, that you’re going to sort it out. I’m taking the kids to Baptist college for my module tomorrow. Kelly was only coming under sufferance anyway. We’ll be back Saturday p.m. Spend some time with her, man.’
    The moment we left the freeway we could have been in leafy suburban Surrey. Large detached houses lined the road, and just about every one seemed to have a seven-seater people-carrier in the drive and, of course, a basketball hoop. I remembered only too well the route we were taking to the estate – or community, as it liked to be known – where Kev and Marsha had lived with Kelly and her younger sister, Aida.
    We turned on to Hunting Bear Path and carried on for about a quarter of a mile until we reached a small, one-level parade of shops arranged in an open square with parking spaces, mainly little delis and boutiques specializing in candles and soap. That was where I’d stopped that day to buy sweets for Aida and Kelly that I knew Marsha wouldn’t let them have, and a couple of other equally unwelcome gifts.
    Far up on the right-hand side among the large detached houses I could just about make out the rear of Kev and