connection between Jerome Browning and me when I didnât even know about it myself?â Maleah tightened her hold on the cool, damp glass. âGod, I should have asked more questions about Noahâs murder when his sister Jacque called me. But I hadnât seen him or spoken to him in over a year when it happened.â Quick jabs of pain shot through Maleahâs right temple. She pressed the side of the iced tea glass against the throbbing pain.
âAre you okay?â Nic studied Maleah closely. âMaybe you need something stronger than aspirin.â
âNo, Iâll be fine. Iâm just feeling a little guilty remembering how unaffected I was by Noahâs death.â She set the glass on the tray. âHe was such a nice guy. Any woman in her right mind would have snapped him up in a New York minute. But not me. I think I broke his heart when I turned down his proposal.â
âWhy did you turn him down?â
âI didnât want to get married.â Maleah slid her left hand beneath her hair at the nape of her neck and massaged her scalp. âI feel as if my entire head is being squeezed in a vise. I know itâs just tension, but . . .â
âYou donât need to tell me tonight. Maybe you should lie down and rest.â
âI want you to know, to understand why I rejected him. At the time, I told myself that I didnât marry Noah because I didnât want to get married, that I intended to never marry anybody. But looking back, I realize that was only half of the reason.â
âAnd the other half was because . . . ?â
âI donât think I was in love with Noah. I loved him, yes. But something was missing. I wanted to be in love, told myself that I was, needed to be, at least in my own mind, enough to justify the fact that he was my first.â
Nic smiled. âNo one ever forgets their first, do they? But we all know that most of the time, the first one is not The One, not for a lot of woman and certainly not for most men. Of course, there are exceptions, especially for our parentsâ generation.â
âIt breaks my heart to think about the way Noah died. He deserved to live a full life, with a wife and kids and . . .â Maleah exhaled a huffing breath. âDear God, how am I going to face the man who killed Noah? How am I going to interview him without wanting to strangle him with my bare hands for what he did?â
âYouâll be able to do it because youâre a professional. If Griff or I had any doubts about your ability or your competence, we would never pair you with Derek again and put the two of you in charge of a case that is highly personal for us.â
âGriff really does believe that these murders are somehow connected to his past, doesnât he?â Maleah looked squarely at Nic.
âYes. And he could be right. But itâs also possible that the killer wants us to believe that. He may want us to think that Griff is the ultimate target, when actually it may be me.â
âHave you ever considered the possibility that neither of you are?â
âNo, not really,â Nic said. âThe killer has murdered agents and members of their families, which means heâs targeting the agency. Griff and I own the agency. It stands to reason that this killer wants to harm the agency, wants to hurt Griff and me.â
âThen why involve me?â Maleah asked. âBoth you and Griff have been personally involved with serial killer cases in the past. Why not copy one of them? Why go back into my past and choose someone who had killed my college boyfriend?â
âI donât have a conclusive answer for you because I simply donât know. It could be what we said earlier, that heâs getting to me through you, my best friend.â
âMaybe. If youâre the one he wants to hurt. But if his real target is Griff, then maybe Iâm simply phase one in his
Douglas Preston, Lincoln Child