Deadshifted by Cassie Alexander Read Free Book Online Page B

The world around me was narrowing, though. I felt like I was in a tunnel, and the distant exit was getting smaller.
    He wrapped an arm around me and held me close. “It’s okay to be scared. But everything’s going to be just fine.”
    “How do you know?”
    He beamed down at me. “Because it’s too early for you—for either of us—to be able to screw anything up. It’s not even worth worrying about now.”
    “But what if I still do? Or—things later?” The enormity of eighteen years of responsibility, and beyond, stretched in front of me like open road.
    He made an absurd face. “That’s not going to happen, Edie.”
    “But what if it does?”
    “Then you’ll have me around to help you unscrew it,” Asher said, and I nodded slowly, forcing myself to agree with him. I knew he meant it. But I also knew my propensity to mess things up. “Are you seriously worried about that, this early in the game?” he went on. “Don’t make me start chalking things up to hormones this fast.”
    I inhaled deeply and held it for a second too long to buy myself time to think. “You knew I was naturally paranoid when you started dating me. Not just knew, but knew-knew.” I wiggled my fingers between us to indicate the strange.
    “I did,” he agreed. “It’s oddly charming, though completely unnecessary.”
    “What if I suck at this?” I poked at my stomach, like the creature inside there could poke back.
    “Are you being serious?” Asher pulled away to look at me like I might be coming down with something.
    “Completely. What if I mess up their life? What if they hate me?”
    “Edie,” he said, dismissing me with a head shake, his voice low. “There is no possible way that will happen.”
    “You know me. I mean, you really know me, Asher. It wouldn’t be the first thing I’d screwed up—” There was a swelling under my breastbone, and I didn’t know if it was more nausea or stomach acid. I put my hand there, to press it down.
    Asher’s hand followed mine, interlacing his fingers. “No one gets any guarantees. And while you are reckless—I know you try harder than anyone. If anyone can make this work, it’s you and me. We’re a team. Okay?”
    I nodded quickly, as though I was trying to convince myself, and took several deep breaths. “Thanks.”
    “I love you.” He stood suddenly, pulling me up after him. “I never actually loved anyone before I met you.”
    “That’s because you were too busy using them,” I said aloud with my outside voice. Asher looked pained, pressing his lips together tight. “Oh, God. See? That was it. I do that. I don’t mean to do it, but I do that. Sometimes. It’s like I can’t even help doing it. I’ll be doing that all over PTA meetings. For the next eighteen years.”
    The pained look was replaced by soft exasperation, and then he laughed aloud. “And somehow I still love you. In spite of it. Maybe because of it.”
    I bit the insides of my lips before I could say anything else. He sank to his knees in front of me. “Edie, let’s get married.”

 
    CHAPTER SEVEN
     
    My lips became unglued. “What?”
    “You heard me.”
    He was kneeling in front of me, looking up expectantly. I stared at him like a deer in headlights. The longer I was stunned, the wider he smiled.
    “Say yes. We’re on a ship for two weeks. We’ll get the captain to do it somehow.”
    I blinked. “Yes.” He stood immediately and I shoved him lightly before he could kiss me. “I can’t believe you’re not even nervous! About anything!”
    Asher laughed and swooped me up. “Of course I am. I’m just better at faking being calm than you.”
    And then he kissed me, one of those sweet kisses you see on diamond jewelry commercials on TV, except it was me. The girl who just got everything she ever wanted, mostly. When we came up for air I was beaming.
    “Someone should pinch me,” I said. With an evil grin, Asher did. “Hey!”
    “Just following orders, ma’am,” he said,