Dear Dad by Erik Christian Read Free Book Online Page A

still blissed out with the promise of an eternal life and the reunion with her father, and I remain enchanted with seeing him in the doorway thirty years ago. We all start together as Newborns and branch off into deviations that define us and produce a legacy for our name or we destroy our name. Were playing with molecules and worshiping the dust. At the end of the day there is only the sun wicking its flames on the horizon, and some of us won’t be here tomorrow.
     

    THE DEVIL’S DRUG
     
     
    Yeah, I’ve been taken down before. The tight fabric of my morality got stained and raveled and the perceptions of a normal life was tainted by all night paranoia and perversion. The ability to laugh and form bonds and create relationships deteriorated like an embryo stuck under a floodlight too long. While humanity traveled feverishly from Point A to Point B, I snuck underground with the vermin and my saliva became thick white powder puffs of crack and crank particles. I formed halitosis and my body stunk like a chemical plant. I became jealous of you and adorned the seven deadly sins with a cocky grin. I took my manhood and shaved it clean of virtue and masturbated with the demons until I was left the loser, alone, dehydrated, body chafed, panting like I ran a marathon but it’s just the speed withdrawals and lost sleep, lost dreams. My normal surroundings became a battleground for other demons and witches of the 4 AM clan who wanted the rest of my dignity. They had other prisoners in their basements already and looking up, up at the stars I noticed a star moving across the atmosphere’s ridge. It traveled with the solar system while I traveled at the speed of a quick demise. The leaves of the fauna on the ground canopy became little blue lights. I knew my mind was playing tricks on me but the believability of those lights made me question my mind. The more I questioned my mind the more I chased my tail and started to playfully tug at my own tail until I was pulling the fur off, then the skin. Headlights of cars flashed into my living room and they were driving too slow on the highway to actually be going somewhere but looking in my windows and seeing me pulling at my pants, trying to get in there. . .It was my body against a distorted mind and one was thirstier than the other to play this way and the show went on, with losers and winners. The winners were home in bed with loved ones not turning black and inward and masturbating until dawn. The winners were just as messed up actually and held beliefs with the false prophets and the warlords of religion and I think some supermarket GM’s are in on it too. My new crack friend thought that the employees at supermarkets were worker bees that were manufactured in the basement at the local paper mill. We stayed up all night and looked at the stars together. He’s the one that pointed out the star that shouldn’t be moving. I tried getting rid of him so I could get into my pants. It was one selfish deed after the next, which kind of looks like those Renaissance paintings of Hell, where everyone is stepping over everyone else, trying to get out.
     

    IN RUSSIA OR A BARREN SOUL
     
     
    The Russians are severe, in the way they ponder and regret and spend many months in the frozen barreness of their homeland. The Winter brings on a numbness that turns warm before hypothermia blankets the victim with euphoric death. Alcoholism is a name tag that everyone wears here. It’s not Russia anymore, it’s the crying soul or society’s reject or the incest survivor, It’s the nameless in a crowd, or it’s people that just don’t care anymore.
     
    I stood by the wood stove after riding my bike in the rain. I could see my pant legs being licked by steam. The candlelight etched little valleys of shadow between my veins. I was young once and this didn’t bother me. Being wet. There were many books unopened on my bookshelf, no, not a bookshelf, an empty spot on the floor surrounded by beer