sobbed.
“Sure, I’ll come get you when the doctors have finished with him.” He left me sitting in the waiting room, and I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. I had too much energy to sit, so paced the room, waiting.
What if he can never walk again?
What about his course?
Where will he live?
What will happen to us?
I was exhausted thinking about it all. I decided to call my mum, she would know what to do.
“Mum…oh, Mum, I don’t know what to do,” I said, tears streaming down my tired face.
“Saffron, what’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?” My worried mother’s voice shook with confusion.
“Mum, it-it’s…Eli. He’s been in an accident; he…he can’t feel his…legs.” The more I spoke, the harder I cried.
“Oh, Saffy. No! What happened? Is he going to be okay?”
“I don’t know, Mum. I haven’t seen him yet.”
“Listen, baby. Take a deep breath. Things always seem worse when you don’t have all the answers. Just wait until you get to see him before you worry yourself to death. Try to stay calm, stay strong for him.” My mum knew that I was panicking, and she was possibly the only person on the earth besides Eli who could have calmed me down. I pulled in a deep breath and blew it out slowly, willing myself to calm down. I had to calm down for Eli. I could do that.
“Thanks, Mum. I will call you when I’ve spoken to him. I have to go.” The receptionist was looking at me like she was about to kill me. She pointed to a sign on the wall that read: No Mobile Phones, and I quickly tucked my phone back in my bag and sat.
What felt like a lifetime later, Aaron came through the doors again.
“You can come through now,” he said, holding the door open with one hand so it didn’t close and lock behind him. The relief I felt in my chest was beyond comprehension as I walked on shaky legs down the corridor and up the stairs towards the high dependency unit. We both washed our hands before Aaron pressed a code, entering us into the room. The smell of disinfectant and sterile machinery was thicker in the unit, but I ignored it. Two nurses sat at a desk chatting, neither looked to see us walking towards Eli’s bed. I didn’t know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t what I saw. Eli was hooked up to several machines. The bruises on his face were deep purple and black, his eye was swollen shut, and he had several cuts on his face and chest. He smiled when he saw me, and I tried to smile back, but it was so hard seeing him there like that. I didn’t want to scare him any more with my reaction, so I tried to be emotionless. Failing, I walked towards him and gripped his hand.
“Hi,” was all I could say before the tears, once again, started to fall from my eyes.
“Don’t cry, baby. I’m fine.” I knew he was lying.
“What did the doctor say?” The need to know was greater than the fear of what he would say.
“He said the surgery went well. I need to wait until the swelling has gone down and then they’ll know more.” The waiting was killing me.
“How long will it take?”
“It could be a few hours, days, weeks, they don’t know. I’ll be fine, though. Don’t worry about me.” How could he think that I wouldn’t worry? I loved him, of course I would worry. “I’m going to need physiotherapy to help me regain the strength in my legs when I get the sensations back.” He was confident he would regain the feeling in his legs; I couldn’t be quite so optimistic. “Aaron said that I can stay with them for as long as I need to.” My heart sank, I couldn’t afford to stay in Kent full time, I had my exams and work. The thought of leaving him made me feel sick to my stomach. He could see in my face that I was warring with myself over it. “Saff, you have to go back to London. I will call you every day. Please don’t worry about me. You need to look after you . You need to concentrate on you .” He was always thinking about other people before himself. Why did