Dear Tabitha by Trudy Stiles Read Free Book Online Page B

be.
    I choke out the words, “Tabby, what you have done to me?”
    How do I move on?

Past
    Age 8
     
    I FINALLY get to wear my pink witch costume! It’s a pretty pink and bubbly dress with glitter. I love glitter. I’m sad that I missed trick-or-treating on Halloween. But I did have cake since it was my birthday. I was sad that Momma wasn’t there to have cake with me.
    I miss Momma. My heart hurts when I think about her. I want to see her again.
    I’ve been staying with Momma’s friend, Lauren, at her house. I really miss my room at home. I don’t understand why I can’t go back there to stay. Miss Lauren told me that we need some time to heal. I don’t know what that means because I’m not hurt.
    Miss Lauren brought me my costume. I heard her tell someone that it was with Momma’s things in her car. She cried when she told that person. I feel bad. She let me wear it today.
    We just got to a place that Miss Lauren says is very sad. She told me that everyone is here to say goodbye to Momma. Why do we have to say goodbye? I don’t want her to go. I hope she likes my pink witch costume when she sees me.
    Miss Lauren holds my hand when we walk into the building. She’s squeezing it so tight it hurts a little. Everyone is looking at me funny, and so many people are crying. We get into a room filled with flowers, and it smells perfumey. She walks me toward the front of the room where there is a long box. It has pretty flowers hanging on it. When we get to the box, Miss Lauren gets onto her knees. I get down next to her. This is weird, and my heart starts to beat really fast.
    Miss Lauren touches the box with her other hand. “I’m so sorry, Trina. I love you so, so much, and I’m going to miss you. You were the best friend that I have ever had, and I just love you so much. Rest in peace.” She starts crying and shaking. I reach my arm around her to hug her. I feel sorry that she is sad.
    “Tabby, would you like to say anything?” she asks me.
    “What should I say?” I don’t understand what she is asking me.
    “Tabby, I know it’s really hard to understand what happened the other day. But we are here to say goodbye to your momma. She’s with God now, and we won’t see her body again.” She touches my heart, and I think she can feel how fast it’s beating. “But we’re always going to feel her in here. She’ll always be with us in our hearts to watch over us and love us.”
    I think I know what she means now. I’m never going to see my momma again. I start to cry and cry and cry. She hugs me tight and I cry all over her pretty black dress. I touch the box and say, “Goodbye, Momma.”
    I run from the room past all of the people. I don’t know any of them.
    This isn’t fair. I can’t say goodbye to Trina forever! She promised that she’d be my forever momma. Why can’t I see her? Is she in that box?
    I scream and scream. Miss Lauren runs to catch up to me. She grabs onto me while I’m screaming. “Tabby, honey, it’s going to be okay. I wish I had the right words to say to you right now to make this all better, but I don’t. I’m going to miss your momma, too. She was my best friend, and it’s so hard to say goodbye to her. Promise me that you will try to understand. It’s going to hurt for a long time, probably forever. But like I told you before, she’s always going to be in your heart, and her love will protect you forever.”
    I keep screaming until I fall asleep in her arms.
    ~
    Six years later…
    I’m in another new school and I hate it. I hate this freaking place and these freaking people. I moved in with my latest foster family, the Blakes, a few weeks ago. This is my third family since Trina died. Apparently, she didn’t have a will or any legal documents that addressed guardianship for me. She also didn’t have any family, and her best friend Lauren couldn’t take care of me, so I wound up in the system.
    The Blakes are gross, dirty people and some of the most disgusting