Death and Relaxation by Devon Monk Read Free Book Online Page A

full power. But I had had plenty of practice with it growing up. The Reed family were basically immune to such things.
    Yet another reason why we made such good lawmen in this town.
    “Yes,” I said. “May I ask to whom I am speaking?”
    “I am the god Thanatos. And I wish to recreate in your small mortal town.”
    Thanatos. God of death. I couldn’t remember Thanatos ever vacationing in Ordinary, Oregon. It wasn’t like every god in the universe had spent time here. Plenty of deities had given Ordinary a try and decided they didn’t like living a powerless mortal life—not even for a short vacation. Other gods just never seemed drawn to the place.
    I had a good memory. I could recite all of the deities who had ever stopped by for as long as a Reed had been in town—and a Reed had always been in town, if not this one, then in some other town in the world.
    Why would Thanatos suddenly decide he wanted to feel the sand between his bony toes?
    “Hello, Thanatos.” I caught Jean’s eye and made a hurry-up motion when she just stood there in surprise at the mention of his name.
    Jean jogged off to the locked and hidden record vault behind the false wall where we kept the family files.
    I went on in a pleasant but firm tone. “There is some paperwork you must fill out and sign with a binding oath before you can stay in the town.”
    “I understand the procedure, Reed Daughter.”
    “Good. I’ll swing by tomorrow and bring you the paperwork.”
    “I would prefer that you meet with me today. It is the terms of service upon which your family agreed.”
    Crap.
    It was in the original oath. The Reeds were bound to answer the call of the deities as quickly as we could.
    The casino, where I made a once-a-week mail run for the deities and met with out-of-town gods to go over terms before they entered Ordinary as mortal, was a half-hour drive northeast from here. I’d lose an hour on the round trip, more for the inevitable conversation with Death, and I hadn’t even filed my report on the explosion yet.
    Myra walked through the door, just in time, as she always was. She raised one dark, sculpted eyebrow in question.
    “Yes, of course, Thanatos,” I said, watching Myra’s surprised blink. “I can be there in just under an hour, if that works for you.”
    “It will suit me, Reed Daughter. Do not be late,” he intoned. Then Death hung up on me, the phone clicking once before it went silent and dead.
    “Death?” Myra asked.
    “Death.” I dropped the receiver in the cradle and scowled at the phone. “He wants a vacation.”
    “Doesn’t everyone?” Myra said. “New here, right?”
    “As far as I know.”
    “Okay, got it,” Jean said as she came around the corner. “Hi, Myra.”
    Myra nodded.
    Jean was carrying the large leather-bound book with fine vellum pages over both her palms. She had it opened to about a quarter of the way through.
    “Anything in there on him?” I asked.
    “Never taken a vacation. Hasn’t been forbidden. No warnings. No notes. Nothing. He has a clean record.”
    “So there’s nothing stopping him from being here,” I said.
    “Nothing in the book,” she agreed.
    “Myra?” I said. “I’ll need to go. Haven’t had a chance to file my report.”
    “It can wait. I’ll hold down the fort.”
    “We so need another officer,” I muttered.
    “Or a strapping volunteer,” Jean said.
    “Anything new on the rhubarb attack?” I asked.
    “Got the pictures.” Myra shrugged out of her jacket and placed it on the back of the chair behind her desk, which was across from Jean’s. “I’ll look through them while you’re gone.”
    I glanced at the clock. It was almost seven. Roy should be in soon to help out with emergency dispatch.
    “Did you have any luck with Dan’s neighbors?” I asked.
    “Nothing about the blast. No one saw or heard anyone come or go, and Tibs was out walking his cat. Said the only one he saw out there was Dan. Thought I’d do a rundown of where the