Deep Blue Sea by Tasmina Perry Read Free Book Online Page B

locked out of their secrets, this bond they shared. But as she looked into the old man’s pale grey eyes – Julian’s eyes, she realised – a little cloudy from tears, she knew that there was no unkindness in his words.
    ‘There was a period during his time at Oxford when Julian found it difficult to cope,’ said Ralph. ‘Our doctor put him on antidepressants – only for a short time, but it alerted us to the fact that he was prone to dark spells.’
    ‘But if he was struggling, I would have noticed,’ said Diana. ‘I mean, he hasn’t been like that since he’s been with me.’
    ‘That’s true,’ nodded Ralph. ‘I’m no expert on psychiatric illnesses, but I believe the weakness was there.’
    It was unbelievable. She could see why the family would keep quiet about Julian’s so-called ‘weakness’, but why hadn’t Julian himself told her?
    Ralph seemed to read her thoughts. ‘No one knew about it except Julian, myself, my wife and the family doctor. Even Elizabeth and Adam were left short on the details. We never wanted it to come out because we always knew he would be CEO one day and we didn’t want anything to jeopardise that. You know how jumpy shareholders can be.’
    ‘But I just don’t believe he was depressed,’ said Diana, feeling utterly bewildered.
    ‘Please, Diana,’ said Ralph, touching her hand. ‘Don’t.’
    ‘Don’t what? Question my husband’s mental state? Why shouldn’t I? Because you’re telling the truth, or because you don’t want any more publicity?’
    She saw his face harden.
    ‘It is the truth. But you’re right, we certainly don’t want this all played out in public. Both for the business and for the sake of Julian’s memory.’
    Diana wanted to object, but she held her tongue. Perhaps Ralph was right after all. Dead was dead. Nothing anyone could do or say would bring Julian back to life. And no, she didn’t want his name dragged through the mud. The rational side of her, her head, was telling her all that, but her heart was saying something else, that something was wrong, that even if he had been depressed, Julian would never have left her and Charlie. Not without saying something, giving her a sign. Something, anything . Her heart just wasn’t satisfied.
    ‘I don’t want this inquest any more than you do. But I want to know why he did what he did, and I’ll do anything to find that out.’
    ‘Sometimes things happen that we just can’t make any sense out of,’ Ralph replied quietly.
    ‘I have to know,’ she whispered.
    Ralph looked at her for a long moment. ‘Don’t be afraid to admit you need someone,’ he said finally. ‘Someone who can help.’
    Diana gave a sad laugh. ‘I don’t think you can get around grief. You can only go through it.’
    ‘But there are people to help you do that. Professionals.’
    She had the sense that she was being led down a path she didn’t want to follow.
    ‘I just want to take one day at a time.’
    Ralph nodded in comprehension. ‘Elizabeth is sorting out the funeral,’ he said, his voice taking on a more officious note.
    ‘Is Adam back from New York?’
    ‘He flew back last night. He’ll be helping Elizabeth.’
    Diana felt a moment’s conflict. She knew the Denver family were taking over, and yet deep down she wanted them to.
    ‘The coffee will be getting cold,’ Ralph said finally, calling Sylvia and Elizabeth back into the room.

4
    During her days as a student and as a journalist, Rachel had been an enthusiastic drinker. Not an alcoholic. Who considered themselves one of those unless you had made the first steps towards AA? No, she just thought of herself as someone who loved everything about alcohol. The taste of it. The sensation of fiery liquid sliding down her throat, the giddy promise of how it would make her feel. Besides, in her profession, a bottle of wine after work went with the job. You had to drink to be one of the gang, plus it was exciting hanging out at celeb events, glugging