Xavier said, “I don’t.” But he did, of course.
Rick stared at him. “Come on. I know she’s the one you told me about when we met.”
In spite of his best efforts, Xavier felt himself flush. He was extremely grateful for the bar’s poor lighting. It had come natural for them to swap stories with each other. Like him, Rick had been forced into the rings by circumstances.
Originally from New Orleans, he had escaped the big city and a family whose levels of dysfunction (understatement) put Xavier’s own family to shame. The Big Easy, as New Orleans was sometimes called, had no soft or easy side for Rick, and so he turned his back on it the same way it had turned its back on him, and he went looking for something better. He had found the Devil’s Fighters instead.
Penniless and with his only skills within the field of MMA fighting, it was a matter of a very short time before he was recruited. Just as it had happened with Xavier, Rick’s fighting skills had come to the club’s attention during a bar brawl. Over the years, Xavier had come to suspect that causing bar fights to spot potential recruits was the Devils’ go-to scheme whenever the ranks were low in number. It hadn’t taken much for Bennie Lenday to charm Rick—he was barely in his twenties, he was naïve, and he was desperate. By the time he had figured out what he had signed up for, it was too late.
They had bonded quickly over their no-choice fate, and Xavier had spilled his guts about the decision that had broken his heart…and about the woman who would always occupy a spot there. He had never mentioned her name, but apparently it had been very easy for Rick to put two and two together.
“It is her, isn’t it?” his friend asked now—although they both knew it was an unnecessary question.
“It’s her,” Xavier finally admitted. “But it doesn’t matter.”
Rick stared at him in disbelief. “What do you mean, ‘it doesn’t matter?’ She’s back. You have a second chance.”
“She’s only here temporarily.”
“So? All the more reason to act, and to act quickly.”
“Why? It’s not like I can be with her.”
“Why not?”
Xavier looked at his friend as if he had just suffered a blow to the head. “You know why. The club wouldn’t take it well if I got myself a serious relationship.”
Rick took a hearty sip of his beer. “We’re not slaves, dude.”
“Aren’t we?”
Rick froze. He seemed to think about it for a very long time. Then, finally, he shook his head. “No,” he said firmly. “I refuse. They can’t take that away from us too.”
Xavier sighed. Rick was particularly touchy on this subject; he was gay and had been rejected by everyone he had ever known for it. Joining the Devil’s Fighters had delivered the fatal blow to his ever having a chance to express his sexuality—the club would kill him if they ever found out.
“Look, Rick, I wish things were different, but we both know how it works,” Xavier said, trying to reason. He tried not to think too much about the fact that he was really mostly trying to convince himself. “Bennie wants us to focus solely on the fights. A woman would be a distraction.”
Rick gave him the ghost of a smirk. “I read somewhere that sex before an athletic effort can actually improve the performance.
Xavier rolled his eyes. “Where did you read that?”
“Health Magazine.”
He couldn’t help but grin in amusement. “Dude.”
Rick shrugged. “What can I say, you can take the player out of the game…” He winked. “So what happened with your girl? Did she ask for a relationship and you turned her down?”
“No.” Surprisingly, no. Alyssa had not asked him for something he couldn’t give her. Or rather, she had, but there was nothing romantic about it. If he had to be honest, Xavier was a little disappointed.
“Then what’s the