Denial by Keith Ablow Read Free Book Online Page B

I said, "I'm a psychiatrist.  My name is Frank Clevenger.  Do you remember speaking with me yesterday?"
    He didn't respond.
    "The medicine I gave you will make it easier for you to talk with me," I suggested.  "It's like truth serum."
    He moved his lips silently.
    "It makes it OK to speak."
    "OK," he whispered.
    I wanted to start with simple facts.  "Do you know where we are?"
    "Yes."
    "Where is that?"
    "Hell, Father.  The bowels of the universe.  I am the excrement of humanity."
    "And what is your name?"
    Westmoreland grimaced and stayed silent.
    I didn't want to lose him by pushing for something he wouldn't yield.  "Why are you here, my son," I asked.
    "God gave her to me," he said, beginning to weep.  "Purest of pure,"
    "You received a gift from God?"
    "Thus was the Virgin Mary delivered unto me in a wood."  He opened his eyes and looked through me.  "I destroyed her.  No son of God shall ever walk the earth again."
    I remembered Westmoreland's delusion about the statue of the Madonna he had stolen from the Church of Angels.  "How did you destroy the virgin?" I asked him.
    He was silent for a while.  "The serpent," he said finally.  "I put the serpent in her mother part."
    "Did she struggle against you?"
    "She has never been against me."
    "Did she cry out?"
    "She never awakened.  My angel slept in a cloud of leaves."
    "In a cloud of leaves..."
    Only her hand reached out to me.  But I was not content with a hand, Father.  No.  No.  Not even that holiest of holy hands.  I uncovered her legs and her mother part.  I am a sinner and worthy of His wrath.  I am the most vile demon to ever visit the earth.  I must be judged."
    "How did you know the Madonna was dead?"
    Westmoreland started to hyperventilate.  "I lifted her in my arms... God had left His terrible mark... Blood... sticky... wet... everywhere."
    "What mark did God leave?"
    "He took... He took back her milk."
    I heard the cell door being opened.
    "End of discussion, Frankenstein," a voice said.  "You've overstayed your welcome."
    I looked up and saw Malloy standing there, feet apart, hands on hips.  Lucey was with him.
    "You've really outdone yourself this time," Malloy sneered.  "Captain Hancock's gonna hand you your head on a fucking platter.  She said to wait for her in her office."
    "Someone has to watch him," I said, nodding toward Westmoreland.  "The Amytal won't wear off for at least twenty minutes."
    "You know what?  I've told you before:  I'm tired of your bullshit psychobabble.  Come on out of there."
    "Who's going to watch him?"
    He wrapped his chubby fingers around his baton.  "Maybe you'd like for me to come in and get you."
    I stood up.  Come get me," I said, staring at him.  "Or is it true you only like to mix it up when the other guy's already cuffed?"
    He stared back for a second or two, but then his eyes drifted.  "I said, ‘Get out of there.’"
    I walked slowly out of the cell and right up to him.  "Now listen to me, Malloy.  You or Officer Lucey had better stay with Mr. Westmoreland.  If he starts feeling like somebody just stole his thoughts from him, we could have pure panic on our hands.  Understand?"
    He turned to the cell.  "Hey, General," he called out, "you missing anything?"
    Westmoreland didn't stir.
    I could easily have put Malloy down with a knee to his soft belly, but Lucey was standing a few feet away, and there's no telling what a new cop will do with a gun.  I took a deep breath and shook my head.  "I don't know what happened to fuck you up so badly, but you'd better figure it out before I stop giving a shit."
    "I'm so scared I'm shakin’ inside."
    "There you go.  That's a start," I said, walking past him.  "Now you can take me to Emma."
    He pushed past me to lead the way.
    "A couple more sessions, and you might not need the shiny boots and badge," I said.
     
    *            *            *
     
    Three hours of sleep wasn't carrying me.  I wanted to dip into my second