Diary of a Mummy Misfit #1 by Amanda Egan Read Free Book Online Page B

tomorrow and compare notes.  We’ll be fine … I’m sure … really I am.”
     
    Realised I didn’t sound very convincing but lying has never come easily to me.  I was always the one caught at school.  “Libby Edgington, have you been smoking?”  All the others were quick to deny but not me. “Yes Sir, I have,” I’d readily confess.  Then I’d get in even more trouble for appearing defiant.  Who says, honesty is the best policy?”
     
    Wasn’t about to let on to Fenella that I was, in fact, shitting it.  Made a quick getaway on the pretext of having to be early to pick Max up from nursery.
     
    Will spend an hour going through the notes tonight and hopefully all will become clearer.
     
    Friday 6 th June
     
    Am writing this slumped at the kitchen table as I didn’t make it to bed last night.
     
    Ned found me here this morning, surrounded by my files.  Felt so sorry for me, he took Max to nursery and said he’d work from home today so that he can collect him too.
     
    And that’s why I’m still here in my dressing gown at 11.30, slurping on my third cold coffee in a bid to wake myself up enough to get dressed.
     
    Might be in shock as every now and then I make a sound bordering on a whinny.  And it’s accompanied with a little involuntary shudder.
     
    When the landline rang, it didn’t quite compute with my brain and I couldn’t understand why nobody answered when I flipped open my mobile.  After a fleeting ‘D’oh’ moment, I realised my mistake and picked up the home phone.
     
    All I could hear was another little whinnying sound and, for a moment, thought it was me again.  Then I realised who it was.
     
    “Seems as if you’ve been struck by the same dreadful disease as me.”  I said.
     
    “What, ‘Christmas-Fair-itis?”  Fenella replied.
     
    “That’s the one.  Look … need sleep … must go … can’t fight it any longer.   Wine later … here 7pm?”  Seemed to be finding it impossible to speak in full sentences.
     
    “Sleep … good … wine… seven … later.”   Fenella was finding the talking thing difficult too.
     
    Unable to write anymo …
     
    Saturday 7 th June
     
    Finally surfaced from bed yesterday at 5pm.  Had quick shower and fed Max, Dog and growing puppies.
     
    Ned and Josh had already spoken and decided to go to the pub while Fenella and I did our Christmas Fair stuff.  Then, when they came back, we’d all have a take away.  Josh had even booked a babysitter while Fenella slept.
     
    Ned popped to the ‘offie’ for emergency supplies.  “Think you may be needing it, don’t you?” he asked jokingly.
     
    Fenella and I were halfway through our second bottle when we stopped and studied our abbreviated list.
     
    Make sure all outside traders are booked by May - the quality ones get booked very early for Christmas.
     
    May?  We’re stuffed!  Only tat on sale this year then.
     
    Decide on activity for each class to run.  Purchase all equipment needed. Give full written instructions.  Organise rota for the day - half hour slot per helper. 
     
    And this is for seven classes - nursery through to year 6!
     
    Organise grotto for Santa.  Buy and wrap 300 gifts (to accommodate siblings) - age and sex appropriate.  Locate decorations for grotto.  Book three Santa’s and allocate their time slots.  Enlist help of five elves to be present.  (‘Elf and Safety’ states that Santa cannot be left alone with a child at any time so must have elf chaperones at all times)
     
    We laughed for a long while about the logic behind that one.  All the Santas would be fathers from the school anyway, but what was the sense of trying to control a potential problem by throwing even more small children at it?
     
    Decide on food and refreshments.  Observe list of Health and Safety requirements.  Including: No hot drinks without lids, no nuts, no sharp implements, no sweets.  Beg or bribe unsuspecting mothers to take food stall.  Always the