Dishing the Dirt by M. C. Beaton Read Free Book Online

Agatha. “Where’s Patrick?”
    “At the supermarket, checking out the staff to see who’s been nicking the electric goods.”
    Agatha phoned him and told him about Herythe. “Have you any contacts in the Thames Valley Police?” she asked.
    “I’ve got one. I’ll see what I can find out.”
    Agatha rang off and turned to Simon. “Find out this Mrs. Danby’s address and get over there. It must be murder.”
    *   *   *
    It was evening before Simon was able to track down the cleaner who lived in tower block on the Blackbird Leys council estate. The door was opened by a young woman with an improbable colour of aubergine hair, two nose rings, and holding a screaming baby.
    “Mrs. Danby?” asked Simon.
    “Naw, she ain’t speaking to no press, so get lost.”
    “I’m not press. I’m a detective,” said Simon.
    “Oh, well, that’s different. Hey, Beryl,” she called, “another of them police.”
    Simon knew he should reveal his proper identity but he decided to do that as he was leaving.
    He was ushered into a filthy living room, showing that some cleaners can’t be bothered with their own homes after they’ve finished cleaning someone else’s. Empty pizza boxes littered the floor, empty beer cans spilled over out of a plastic bin in the corner and old newspapers and magazines were piled up everywhere.
    The woman with the baby said, “I’m off home, Mum, to get Frank’s tea. I’ll be round in the morning.”
    When she had gone, Simon said, “Just a few questions, Mrs. Danby.”
    “Could you give me a minute to change?” said Mrs. Danby. She raised one powerful freckled arm and sniffed her armpit. “I stink something awful.”
    “Go ahead,” said Simon. When she had gone, he opened a window wide because it wasn’t only Mrs. Danby’s armpits that stank.
    *   *   *
    Mrs. Danby went into her bedroom and stripped off her blouse and trousers. Her trousers were too long for her and she had rolled up the bottoms. She took the trousers and threw them on top of a pile of clothes in the laundry basket. A large leaf which had been stuck to the bottom of the trousers fell at her feet. She automatically picked it up and rolled it between her fingers while she wondered if she had anything clean to wear.
    She suddenly clutched her heart as she was seized by a violent allergic reaction. “Help!” she shrieked.
    Simon came running in, looked at her contorted face and wondered why the matronly Mrs. Danby was wearing a scarlet thong. He phoned for an ambulance.
    Desperate to do something, he went into the kitchen, filled a glass of water, poured a pile of salt into it, mixed it up and took it to her. “Drink!” he shouted. He got her to take a large gulp and then she vomited all over the floor. “Did you eat or drink something bad?” he asked.
    “Leaf,” she said weakly. “That there leaf.”
    Simon heard the wail of a siren. He took out a little plastic back and put on gloves. He lifted the leaf carefully into the bag.
    “What’s your daughter’s phone number?” he asked.
    “On the wall. Above the kitchen phone. Josie Maller.”
    *   *   *
    The ambulance men arrived, closely followed by two policemen and a detective. The woman was Detective Sergeant Ruby Carson. She had blond hair and deep blue eyes. Simon forgot all about Toni and fell in love on the spot. He rapidly told Ruby and the paramedics about the leaf. She said she would take his statement while waiting for the pathologist and a forensic team to arrive, while they sat in her car.
    Said Ruby, after Simon had reverently handed her the little plastic bag with the leaf inside, “I’ll phone the hospital in a few minutes to make sure she’s still alive. I’ll give this leaf to the forensic lab.” She took his statement down, printed it off on her mobile printer and got him to sign it.
    “It all seems to have started in that village where your boss lives,” said Ruby. “What’s the connection?”
    “David Herythe was on