Divine Invasions: A Life of Philip K. Dick by Lawrence Sutin Read Free Book Online Page B

Dorothy's stepdaughter, observes: "Part of the problem was that as Dorothy grew up she just `matured away.' But the main reason was that Edgar was extremely jealous. She couldn't stand it-he would be jealous if somebody looked at her." At this time, Dorothy was slender, with shoulder-length brown hair and features resembling those of the cinema's reigning beauty, Greta Garbo. But Phil never spoke of Dorothy's having lovers during his childhood and adolescence, or even of any polite courtships.

The freedom Dorothy craved was not sexual but psychological: autonomy, the right to raise her son by her own lights.
After their separation, Dorothy moved into a Berkeley apartment with Meemaw (again on hand in time of crisis) and Marion. For a year, Edgar would pay regular visits there to see Phil. But then the battle for control over their son broke out in full force. In 1934, Edgar threatened to seek sole custody of Phil on the grounds, as Dorothy explained it, "that he was better off financially and could `do more' for you. When I refused to give you up he wrote that he would forget you, then, and wanted nothing more to do with either of us. [... ] I made a colossal mistake, taking the advice of a psychiatrist who told me to let you forget your father, never to mention him at all, to ignore his existence."
Dorothy had her reasons for fearing Edgar's legal threats. With a newly found secretarial job, she could barely provide an adequate livelihood for the new household; of necessity, Meemaw took over full-time care of Phil. Dorothy saw that Meemaw "supplied the kissing and cuddling, the indulgence, and the cookies that I withheld." Tessa Dick relates that "When Phil got into trouble, she [Meemaw] would shake her head and say, `Oh, Philip,' very quietly. That used to have more effect on Phil than all his mother's scolding."
But there was a darker side to the new living arrangement. Meemaw's husband, Earl, had, at this time, circled back to his wife to stay (he died three years later, in 1937). Phil recalled him as "a big man with flaming red hair" who "used to go around the house, waving his belt and saying, 'I'm going to whip that boy.' " During or shortly after his stay in Earl and Meemaw's home, Phil developed severe swallowing difficulties. Barry Spatz, a psychologist who worked with Phil in the late seventies and early eighties, speculates in interview that those symptoms may have been induced by physical abuse or sexual molestation on Earl's part. Phil drew a blank when asked by Spatz, during therapy, if he could recall such incidents.
Spatz points out that Phil's life history shows tendencies characteristic of child incest victims, such as difficult relations with family; drug abuse; repeated suicide attempts; significant memory gaps; low selfesteem accompanied by guilt; a chaotic, crisis-oriented lifestyle; and pervasive mistrust, especially toward the opposite sex, alternating with strong attachments. These are certainly descriptive of aspects of Phil's life that will be detailed in this book. But such tendencies can and do manifest themselves in persons who have not suffered from abuse.
The evidence simply does not allow for certainty. Almost forty years later, in 1964, Phil broached the subject with his third wife, Anne, during the worst of their marital difficulties:
[O]ne day, just before going to church, Phil said he had something very serious to tell me; something that would explain why he couldn't function properly in life. I... I He could function just fine. Why did he have to go on as if he couldn't? [... ] Phil told me, "When I was quite small I was molested by a homosexual neighbor. This is what has made me so inadequate." I told him he should tell this to his psychotherapist.

In this version, a neighbor-not Earl-is the abuser. Was it a ploy for sympathy, as Anne took it at the time? Why didn't Phil tell Spatz about it during their lengthy sessions? To Tessa Dick, Phil recalled being sent, at age six, to a