Divinely Living (Surviving Series) by Courtney Cross Read Free Book Online Page B

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    A sliver of wariness slid down my spine as he pressed further, the tip of his cock flush against the puckered hole that clenched tightly with fear. My whole body stiffened as he continued to apply pressure as if waiting to be granted access. Alex, my adoptive stepfather, had violated that very area during the assault he subjected me to over four years ago. Even with Jonah, the man who I loved above all else, the thought of reliving that nightmare was unthinkable and absolutely unattainable.
    “Jonah, stop,” I said in a firm voice as he continued to push and probe. His tanned arms bracketed my sides, his defined pectorals hard against my upper back as his cheek rubbed across mine. “I would never hurt you intentionally, Ava, especially not in a physical sense but damn, your divine rear looks so tempting right now.”
    Rather than repulse me as the mention of my ass usually did, a faint spark of arousal ignited within my stomach. A spark I intended to cut before it spread further.
    “I don’t do anal and you know why,” I replied without hesitation, although the hint of disappointment I felt when I spoke the words confused me.
    “When we make love the main focus is pleasure, not pain. I can’t help but want my cock to claim every piece of you as its own. Your perfect, pert arse included.”
    Curiosity pricked at me. “You sound as though you’re talking from experience.”
    His lips skimmed across my shoulder. “I’ve never made love to a woman before you but yes I’ve indulged in anal sex before.”
    “With Darcy?” The question left my lips before I could stop it.
    Jonah’s body tensed against my back and fell silent before answering. “Yes, I fucked her up the arse once or twice.”
    Jealousy flowed through me with powerful force. “And did you enjoy it with her?”
    Sighing heavily, his hair tickled my shoulder as his head fell against it. “Ava, do we really need to go there?”
    “Yes, yes we do.” As much as thoughts of Jonah up her pretty ass filled my stomach with burning bile, a part of me needed to know.
    My back suddenly fell cold as Jonah rolled to my side and faced me. His piercing blue eyes burned through me, the depths of sincerity almost intimidating. “Why do you need to know about worthless, meaningless sex I shared with someone I once classed as nothing more than a friend? The thought of you sharing your sexual past with me makes me feel homicidal. The last thing I want to hear is how another man pleasured you and made you come.”
    He had a point. Did I really want to torture myself with the truth? Seeing Darcy with Jonah, a woman who aesthetically matched his own beauty in ways I was incapable of achieving, had reinforced what my insecure side had always believed. Jonah Jacobson was way out of my lowly league and I needed his reassurance that I was good enough more than I realised. So hell yeah I wanted to know.
    “You looked so good together,” I said in a flat but truthful tone. “Sex between the two of you must have been equally as good.”
    As if he could read my twisted thoughts, Jonah cursed beneath his breath. “Christ Ava, when the hell are you going to stop looking at yourself as not worthy? I’m the one who has never been worthy sweetheart.”
    “I never said I wasn’t nor was that what I meant,” I lied. “But come on, two people as hot as you and she had to be hot between the sheets also.”
    His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed. “Sex with Darcy was dull and empty, usually occurring when I was either intoxicated or too exhausted to object. She instigated it, I ended it then I left.”
    “But you fucked her up the ass. That’s a deeply intimate act involving a shit load of trust. She wouldn’t have allowed you to if she didn’t care for you on some level.”
    “I don’t give a shit whether she cared about me or not. I didn’t care for her and she knew it. I didn’t want or need her trust because I didn’t care.”
    Arching a brow in question, he