Doctor Who: The Gunfighters by Donald Cotton Read Free Book Online Page B

on the grip? So it won’t get lost no-how –
    an’ you can return it before you leave town. And, say, you’d better take this gun-belt, as well – ‘cause you don’t want to go wavin’ such a weapon around, or folks’ll likely get the wrong idea... or else you’ll shoot yourself in the foot, or whatever... Go on, take it!’
    And he slung the lethal arbitrator round the Doctor’s reluctant waist.
     
    ‘There – now you look real smart!’
    The Doctor admired himself in the cracked mirror.
    ‘Well, this is extremely civil of you, I must say! But please – you really must let me give you... Oh yes, by the way, there is also the matter of my account. How much do I owe you altogether?’
    ‘There ain’t no charge at all, friend; seeing as how you’re my very first patient, consider it on the house!
    Maybe I’ll get your tooth silver-mounted as a keepsake. It’s a real beauty!’
    ‘Well,’ said the Doctor, overwhelmed by this further evidence of Western hospitality, goodwill, and camaraderie, ‘I really don’t know how I can pay you back.’
    ‘You’ll find a way, friend – you’ll find a way. And you will also find the welcoming committee right along the street there...’
    So, with expressions of mutual esteem, they parted; and the Doctor strode off to keep his appointment with History
    – and to redecorate the annals of the Golden West, while he was about it...
     
    10

A Little Night Music
    Left alone, Doc Holliday wasted a certain amount of time congratulating himself on his masterly grasp of essentials, and his generally unprecedented ability to kill two buzzards with one rock. Not only had he avoided putting his foot in a bear-trap, but he was confident that the little woman would thank him for doing so. Furthermore, in less time than it takes a Gila monster to prove it’s the only poisonous lizard in the world, the substitute Doc Holliday would be a very dead ringer indeed!
    So then he could start trading under a new name, to general acclaim and flag-flapping. How about that for a bowl of sweet potatoes and corn-pone, he asked himself?
    Anxious to claim Kate’s very special brand of congratulations, he spring-heeled back to the bedroom; only to find that the fiancee who had previously lent such a high tone to the love-nest had now departed for points elsewhere! All that remained to remind him of her was a note pinned to the pillow with an ice-pick...
    ‘Why, you ornery, spineless, down-wind skunk,’ it began affectionately, ‘what kind of a belly-crawlin’, ham-hearted, low-down, white livered apology for a no-good pistol-packing, knife-fighting, dental practising prairie-dog do you think you are, huh?
    ‘Furthermore, how dare you let that nice old gentleman, who treated me with every courtesy, as if I was almost a lady – which is more than some do, let me tell you for nothing – where was I? – yes, how dare you let him go to front for you in a well-deserved show-down, and shortly occupy your reserved, unconsecrated parking-lot on Boot Hill? Answer me that!
    ‘Well, at any rate, one of us has guts enough to wrap around the weekend whisky; and for your information I am goin’ blazing down to the saloon right now to do what’s right, while there’s still time, and while the mood lasts!
    ‘I have left a stew on the stove, which kindly do not allow to burn, as you will shortly do in hell, if there’s any justice, which I doubt!
    ‘More in sorrow than in anything else I care to name,
    ‘I am always,
    ‘Your previously loving,
    ‘Kate Elder, Miss, and likely to remain so!’
    Holliday rubbed his chin – which didn’t help any.
    Obviously, he considered, she had penned the document in something of a hurry, which would account for the somewhat erratic imagery; but still, reading between the lines, he could detect a bum’s rush when he saw one. And he didn’t like it. Wasn’t he in the process of straining the honourable habits of a lifetime to make an honest fallen woman of