that he would have preferred to be “the best” at something entirely different than fighting in a ring.
“I don’t understand,” Alyssa admitted.
“I’ve made it so that your staying in town would be an advantage for them.”
Alyssa stared at him. The more Xavier spoke, the more confused she felt. Emotions began mounting up within her, a mixture of feelings so strong and powerful that she almost felt sick with the force of it all.
“So you’re telling me that all the fights you’ve been in since I came back were because of me?”
Xavier paused in his anger. He seemed to realize what he was saying for the first time. “No, Aly,” he said gently. “They’ve been for you. And for me, too. To have you with me.”
Alyssa was horrified. The thought that she had been responsible for even a part of the horrors that littered Xavier’s life with the Devil’s Fighters—as indirect as her responsibility was—was more than she could handle.
“And you never thought of asking what I would think of all of this before you went and made deals with the devil?” she demanded. Under any other circumstances, her choice of words would have been melodramatic. Not so under these circumstances. As far as Alyssa was concerned, Bennie Lenday was Satan.
Xavier opened his mouth and then quickly closed it again. It was all too obvious that no, he had not thought about it. “I just didn’t see any other option,” he finally said. If anything, he had the good grace to look slightly ashamed.
“I would’ve left,” Alyssa said. “If my staying here meant that you had to fight more, I would’ve left. I would’ve gone back to Canada, and I would’ve worked on getting you out from a distance. Somehow, I would’ve found a way to make it work,” she snapped when she saw Xavier was about to protest. “I never would have wanted this. And I sure as hell don’t want you fighting a guy who’s known to kill his adversaries.”
“It’s too late,” Xavier said. “I already told Bennie I’d do it.”
“Change your mind,” Alyssa said brusquely. “Tell him it’s not worth it. Tell him you’ve come back to your senses. I don’t care; tell him anything . You can’t do this.”
“I have to do this,” Xavier repeated. It was clear from the angry but also lost and frustrated expression on his face that he didn’t understand how Alyssa did not get it. “Please, Aly. You have to understand.”
“Well, I don’t.” Alyssa stood, too, the mounting tension within her finally getting the best of her body; she just had to work the energy off somehow. “I don’t understand, Xavier. You went off and put your life in horrible danger because of me, or for me, as you say. Do you have any idea how this feels?”
Xavier swallowed visibly. The anger was slowly flowing out of him, and now he just looked at Alyssa in pain and confusion. “I thought you’d be happy.”
“Happy?” Alyssa replied, incredulous. She could not believe what she was hearing. “How could I be happy with this?”
“I’m doing something, Aly,” Xavier said fervently, his green eyes shining. “For the first time in my life, I’m actually doing something. I’m taking action. I’m taking matters in my own hands. I’m offered the chance to decide for my life myself.”
“Don’t you see? Don’t you understand?” Alyssa retorted. “Bennie hasn’t offered you a chance. He’s offered you a death sentence.”
The realization had hit her during one of Xavier’s speeches. It had hit her with the force of a punch in the gut. It had hit her like something inescapable, and it now clung to her clothes and skin, refusing to let go.
“I believe he thinks he has,” Xavier conceded. “But he’s in for a surprise. I’m going to win.”
Alyssa watched him skeptically. He sounded way too confident for someone who had just been set up to fight against a notorious