Down to Ash (#Dirtysexygeeks Book 2) by Melissa Blue Read Free Book Online Page B

not once have I touched you like this.”
    And there he was, being horrible for her ego once again. Didn't any woman want to believe she was the one who could make a man lose himself?
    “Victor—”
    “You said my full name.” His brows rose. “You're serious.”
    She’d planned to say something else but from the way his jawline hardened, he'd prepared the firing squad in his mind. Anything she uttered would end up riddled with holes.
    “It was sex,” she said anyway. “You're not even thinking about taking me to get endless pasta and salad. So eloping is off the table.”
    Yeah. There was that stubborn look she hated.
    Ash shook her head.
    “It's that simple for you?” He spread the words out like he had to speak with care.
    She searched his face for a reason why. His guarded expression reveal ed nothing. When she'd kissed him in the kitchen, she hadn't been thinking happily ever after. She liked him when he wasn't being a dick. She loved him like she loved everyone in the Goon Squad. But forever? A cold hand gripped her heart. Could she love a nyone that long...without hurting them?
    She shook her head again. “Yes. This was just sex, Vic. Long overdue, but nothing more.”
    “I see,” he said, no inflection in his voice.
    But she couldn't see what he meant. What more was there? Lust had been making them crazy, and they'd tossed alcohol onto those feelings. Surprise, they were good in bed. Outside it? She didn't know.
    Their interactions over the years had always been framed by the hard limits of what they shouldn't do. And that meant Victor couldn't know what they could be outside those restrictions either. This was all new and confusing and ending before they could start and find out for sure.
    Do I want more?
    Why taunt herself with someone she could never have any way? She was a lot of things. Masochistic wasn't one of them.
    Deciding to share her frustration at the unanswerable internal questions, Ash tugged on his hair again, and he laughed again, likely knowing his response had set off a mental landmine.
    Ash dropped her hand onto the mattress. “I knew what I was doing, Vic. I wanted you. You wanted me. Still do. Both of us. Yes, it's that simple.”
    His jaw clenched and the air seemed to crackle around him. “And Porter?”
    “My brother will be pissed. If he really gets himself going, he'll be hurt and the world won't make sense to him anymore. But his need isn't reasonable, or entirely rational, either.”
    “Doesn't matter. He asked for it.”
    That was simple for Vic to understand and to honor. And that right there was why Porter and Vic were friends. They both had a habit of taking on responsibilities that weren’t theirs to take. Often her responsibilities. She flicked her gaze to Victor's. Yeah. It hurt that they could think so little of her. She could slay her own dragons, but they would never let her lift her sword. It was their job, never hers.
    Victor took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Once I walk out that door, we're done. I'm not going to smile in my friend's face, knowing—”
    Her oh-please side-glance seemed to cut off his speech before he could really begin it.
    “Porter probably still has a hit out on Owen for taking my virginity in high school,” she said, “So I don't go around telling my brother about the men I sleep with.”
    He tilted his head, disbelief clear on his face. “You have to know this is different.”
    She clutched at the cool sheet. “Is it?” she asked honestly.
    She wasn't in denial or being stubborn. How she felt about Vic was the same way she'd felt about him since forever. If anything happened to him, it would feel like a mortal wound. But she'd be just as grief stricken if anything happened to anyone in the Goon Squad. They were as much part of her life as her brother. No, she wasn't part of their group, not really, but they treated her like a sister—too precious for the world.
    Except for Victor, and those reasons had played out