Dreams of Reality by Sylvia Hubbard Read Free Book Online

newspaper. And he smelled . . .” She closed her eyes remembering him being so close and the more she thought about the more she remembered about him. The nice shape of his head, the strong nose, chiseled chin, thick neck, and of course the shoulders. Broad, bullock shoulders that made a woman want to rest her thighs on.
    “Excuse me?” Dr. Carter asked.
    She realized she was expressing her private thoughts out loud and blushed.
    “Don’t be embarrassed. I am glad you are taking some interest in men. That is a positive sign for you considering your hardship.”
    “My hardship?” She tried to sound as confident as possible not really wanting to admit there was a small fear of men she still harbored that she fought desperately every day to conquer. “I mean I understand that my rape wasn’t my fault and I don’t think I should allow myself to ruin my chances for an emotional relationship with a man. I accept the fact that it wasn’t my fault and I know it will forever be in the back of my mind, but I hope my panic attacks would go away eventually.”
    “Possibly. Yes, you maybe attracted to this man, but anything towards sex would probably make you turn against him. If you met him, and he regarded you with mutual interest, would you have sex with him?”
    Her eyes were doubtful, but interested. “I would like to, I guess,” she said doubtfully. “I’d have to know him personally. I can’t—”
    “If you were in a situation where there were no restrictions, no consequences, no repercussions would you?”
    Just the thought of it made Skye’s heart race. “I think I would.” It felt weird hearing her say that to someone else, but just saying it made her feel energized. “I think I’d tell myself that my panic attacks weren’t there. It’s just excitement and I could believe it for just one night or two if I knew I’d never have to wake up and see that it wasn’t real. That he didn’t have any real sexual feelings for me, but I could just accept him, physically and mentally.” Crinkling her nose, it sounded confusing even to her. “I don’t think reality likes me, so if I knew it wasn’t real I could handle him.”
    Dr. Carter seemed pleased with her answer. This bothered her to know he felt comfortable with what she said, because what she said had not made her comfortable. To know to only deal reasonably with Thaddeus Newman in dreams was not a very healthy thought. She wanted to be able to deal with him at all times. That was appropriate. What she wanted was not healthy in her mind, but decided not to express this to Dr. Carter.
    “But I don’t dream when I sleep, so I know it will never happen.” She added with great disappointed, but retracted this when she remembered just the other day she had dreamed. “Although I did dream the other day.”
    “You did?” he seemed genuinely interested. “About what?”
    She related the dream to him and how she had felt afterwards. “I let it passed because I figured with all the changes going on in my life, it must be a positive sign.”
    He looked proud. “This could be symbolized as a big step in your life. The new free spirited Skye could be emerging, the one that’s not afraid of changes and new experiences.”
    She shrugged still feeling depressed, but glad her hour was up.
    Leaving the Women’s clinic, Skye got in her car and drove to her appointment at Newman Steel. Trisha Galvin had called a couple of days after Skye’s meeting Thaddeus Newman, leaving a message on her answering machine. She was intrigued with the business wanting to know more about what Newman Steel did and why her services would be beneficial to them.
    And why after her awkward meeting with Thaddeus Newman was she getting this appointment. Curiosity killed the cat, Skye, she told herself.
    ‘Yeah, but satisfaction brought it back,’ her mind argued and she chuckled to herself while she was in the elevator that took her to the administration office of Newman Steel.
    When