Eastshore Tigers 01 - Strong Side by Alison Hendricks Read Free Book Online Page A

still hoping that, against all odds, Hawk has this deeply hidden desire to experiment with his sexuality. Oh well.
    "I forgot that even existed. Used to watch it for hours on end after I got out of the hospital. Shit messed me up."
    "I bet. I just… Wanted to see what you're dealing with. And I may be way off base here, but it looked like that hit wasn't just a regular tackle."
    My breath catches in my throat, and it's like my lungs suddenly stop, threatening to strangle me. Is he really asking what I think he is? It's been years, and nobody has ever seen through that clip. Then again, it takes a football player to know what another is thinking, and it's not like it's been on anyone's must-watch list beyond some morbid fascination with seeing another person’s pain.
    I have to make a decision, and quick. He's going to ask questions, and it's probably better if I just throw it all out there and let him deal with it the way he wants. But there's a part of me that's afraid of his reaction. Either he'll move firmly into the camp of pitying me, or he'll start to distance himself from me. Both options suck, but I don't want to lie to him, either. In a very short time, Hawk has become a friend. I think he could be a really good friend, and I don't want to fuck that up.
    My parents used to tell me that anyone who decides they don't like me because of who and what I am isn't worth knowing, anyway. But they’re my parents. They have to say shit like that. It's harder to think about it that way when you're faced with the prospect of losing a friend.
    I swallow down the lump in my throat, and make my decision.
    "That's because it wasn't."
    He doesn't say anything, just lets out a breath like he was holding it in, waiting for my answer. He nods slowly, and whether he's just taking time to process it, or actively giving me time to compose my thoughts, it's appreciated.
    "I told you I lived in a small town. Not the most open-minded place in the world, and anything that happens there gets around within a week." There were times when I feared for my life in that town, and that's part of why I ultimately decided to go to college out of state. "My junior year, I started having to… Face some hard facts about myself. I wanted to live my life and stop being afraid. To figure out if my hunch was true."
    I'd been on dates before that. With girls, obviously. I even had sex before that, though it was awkward as hell and pretty much confirmed the fact that I'm 100% gay. I don't know what came over me that year, but I’d just had enough.
    "I'm gay, man. I came out to my parents that year, and the team found out about it a couple months later."
    That’s not the whole truth. I think about the offensive tackle in that video—the one who deliberately missed his block—and I feel my stomach lurch. I could've dealt with just being harassed and called a fag by the rest of my teammates. I could've even dealt with the injury, deliberate or not. But the way it happened…
    Hawk sinks back into the bed for a moment, and I venture a glance at him. I can practically see the wheels turning, and I wait for him to put it together.
    "He didn't block for you. He could've easily taken that guy out, and he didn't." There’s a severity to his voice that surprises me. "That's fucked up."
    Can’t argue with that. "Yep."
    "Seriously, Derek. That's really fucked up."
    He stands, pacing in the small space between me and the TV. One hand covers his chin and his mouth, and the other is holding his elbow. He actually looks a little torn up about this, and I don't know what to say. I guess I didn't expect him to be completely unsympathetic, or to be an asshole about it, but this looks like something more than pity. Honestly, the overwhelming emotion I'm reading from him is anger.
    He stops in front of me, and his eyes are a little wild. "Did you file charges?"
    "What? No, I didn’t file charges. What was I going to say? I was tackled on a football field, Jason." It