Elliot and the Pixie Plot by Jennifer A. Nielsen Read Free Book Online Page A

kills Elliot faster than that, it would be so radical, because then I’ll have time to get my nails done too. If Elliot’s still alive after the ten-minute time-out, he’ll totally be my servant. Either way, Grissel goes free, and then he keeps his promise to me, and we’ll, like, totally blow the Fairies to dust!” She forgot to mention what happened if Elliot survived. Maybe she didn’t think there was any chance he would.
    Both the Pixies and Goblins cheered loudly. The Brownies squirmed in their seats. Even they didn’t expect Elliot to win.
    “Happy thoughts, happy thoughts,” Elliot mumbled. But his brain was in a fuzz. For some reason, all he could remember was the awful theme song to Fidget’s favorite show, Surfer Teen.
Surfer Teen,
Awesomest kid on the scene.
Rockin’ muscles lean and mean.
You’re Surfer Teen.
    “Like, when I say ‘Time in,’ then the battle begins,” Fidget said.
    “Happy thoughts,” Elliot mumbled to the tune from Surfer Teen.
    “Time in!” Fidget sliced her wand through the air, and sparks shot out from the end of it. The crowd cheered as she flew away and the battle began.
    Grissel ran toward Elliot, but stopped in the center of the ring where Fidget had stood. With a low growl, he crouched on all fours. Elliot knew what was happening. He was preparing to scare Elliot to death.
Rockin’ muscles lean and mean.
    Grissel’s bony skin began to bubble in rhythm.
    Oddly, he bubbled to the rhythm of the lyrics stuck in Elliot’s head.
    Elliot started singing them: “ You’re Surfer Teen ...”
    As he sang, Elliot pictured Grissel as a surfer teen. Grissel on all fours on a surfboard. But Goblins hate water, so he’d have to balance on the surfboard so that no water splashed on him.
    Maybe just because he was so tired, that the pictures he imagined seemed really funny. Funnier than Grissel was scary, and Elliot was laughing hard before he even finished the lyrics.
    Grissel growled at Elliot, arching his back even higher. It should have been scary, but for some reason it wasn’t. Maybe Elliot was laughing too hard to be scared. Now he was picturing Grissel wearing a swimsuit with tropical flowers. And sunglasses—he’d have to wear sunglasses! Pink ones that matched his swimsuit. If a green-skinned Goblin gets a suntan, does he turn olive green? What color is a sunburn? Mud color?
    Tears came to Elliot’s eyes as he laughed. His stomach ached from laughter.
    “Nobody laughs at me,” Grissel said, rising up to his full height. He lunged at Elliot with bare teeth. Elliot used the only weapon he had available to him. Spit. He spit on Grissel while Grissel was still in midair. The spit landed in Grissel’s eye, and he fell to the ground, screaming and writhing in pain.
    “Oh, that’s so totally time out,” Fidget said, fluttering into the ring from above. She stared down at Grissel, who was still helpless on the ground. “This is, like, such a bummer.”
    Elliot jumped into the air in celebration. So Grissel had not killed him, and the time-out was over. “That’s it?” he said. “Then I won.”
    “Wrong,” Grissel said. “I scared you to death. You’re just slow at dying.”
    Elliot folded his arms. “Am not. I’ll bet I could die really fast if you were any good at scaring me.”
    “I’ve been scary longer than you’ve been alive,” Grissel said. “Just admit you’ve lost and die already, then I’ll go free.”
    “Like, that’s totally enough.” Fidget flicked her wand at the crowd. “All of you just go away.”
    And with that, the entire audience disappeared. Elliot wasn’t sure where they’d all gone. Somewhere safe, he hoped.
    Grissel smiled wickedly at Elliot. “Now it’s just you and me, little king.”
    But Fidget flew between them. “You had your chance, Goblin. You’re so yesterday, and I’m already on tomorrow. Back you go to the Brownie jail.”
    Grissel’s protest was only half spoken when Fidget poofed him away with her