Emily Climbs by L.M. Montgomery Read Free Book Online Page B

or if there is a little bit left in it for any one or any thing. If there is it might save her. That would be a good idea for a story. I must jot it down before I go to bed – I’ll borrow a bit of paper from Ilse. No – here’s a bit in my hymn-book. I’ll write it now.
    “I wonder what all these people would say if they were suddenly asked what they wanted most, and
had
to answer truthfully. I wonder how many of these husbands and wives would like a change? Chris Farrar and Mrs. Chris would – everybody knows that. I can’t think why I feel so sure that James Beatty and
his
wife would, too. They
seem
to be quite contented with each other – but once I saw her look at him when she did not know any one was watching – oh, it seemed to me I saw right into her soul, through her eyes, and she hated him – and feared him.She is sitting there now, beside him, little and thin and dowdy and her face is grey and her hair is faded – but she, herself, is one red flame of rebellion. What
she
wants most is to be free from him – or just to
strike back once
. That would satisfy her.
    “There’s Dean – I wonder what brought him to prayer-meeting? His face is very solemn, but his eyes are mocking Mr. Sampson – what’s that Mr. Sampson’s saying? – oh, something about the wise virgins. I hate the wise virgins – I think they were horribly selfish. They
might
have given the poor foolish ones a little oil. I don’t believe Jesus meant to praise them any more than He meant to praise the unjust steward – I think He was just trying to warn foolish people that they must not
be
careless, and foolish, because if they were, prudent, selfish folks would never help them out. I wonder if it’s very wicked to feel that I’d rather be outside with the foolish ones trying to help and comfort them, than inside feasting with the wise ones. It would be
more interesting
, too.
    “There’s Mrs. Kent and Teddy. Oh,
she
wants something terribly – I don’t know what it is but it’s something she can never get, and the hunger for it goads her night and day. That is why she holds Teddy so closely – I know. But I don’t know what it is that makes her so different from other women. I can never get a peep into
her
soul – she shuts every one out – the door is never unlatched.
    “What do
I
want most? It is to climb the Alpine Path to the very top,
    “‘And write upon its shining scroll
A woman’s humble name.’
    “We’re all hungry. We all want some bread of life – but Mr. Sampson can’t give it to us. I wonder what
he
wants most?His soul is so muggy I can’t see into it. He has a lot of sordid wants – he doesn’t want
anything
enough to dominate him. Mr. Johnson wants to help people and preach truth – he really does. And Aunt Janey wants most of all to see the whole heathen world Christianized. Her soul hasn’t any dark wishes in it. I know what Mr. Carpenter wants – his one lost chance again. Katherine Morris wants her youth back – she hates us younger girls
because
we are young. Old Malcolm Strang just wants to live – just one more year – always just one more year – just to live – just not to die. It must be horrible to have nothing to live for except just to escape dying. Yet he believes in heaven – he thinks he will go there. If he could see my flash just once he wouldn’t hate the thought of dying so, poor old man. And Mary Strang wants to die – before something terrible she is afraid of tortures her to death. They say it’s cancer. There’s Mad Mr. Morrison up in the gallery – we all know what
he
wants – to find his Annie. Tom Sibley wants the moon, I think – and knows he can never get it – that’s why people say he’s not all there. Amy Crabbe wants Max Terry to come back to her – nothing else matters to her.
    “I must write all these things down in my Jimmy-book tomorrow. They are fascinating – but, after all, I like writing of beautiful things better. Only – these